I believe you did very great in your story! as a critic I would like to see more scenery eplanations like whats wonderland like when they arrive (of course most everyone knows the story) but you mightve been able to stretch the story. Other than that GREAT JOB!

PS: I am a Young author and im writing a futuristic type Hansel and Gretel. (not much dialogue, but im still working on it) so if you could review it when it was done, that would be great!

PSS: Btw i Read your story on the newspaper the Friday Journal

PSSS: GREATTTTTT JOBBBBBBBB

Nifty second chapter.

Well done