|Reviews for Healing|
| Joseph 11/25/12 . chapter 1
I loved the disclaimer, "If you do not like stories where people are depressed, angry or highly emotional this fic is not for you."
| Joseph 8/5/12 . chapter 2
Again, I am very impressed with your writing! You have such a special way with words that I can see the events happening in my mind! Also, clean spelling with no typos- great!
| 0oBellina0o 7/30/12 . chapter 13
Nice ending! :)
| SevSnape's Rickmaniac 6/20/12 . chapter 11
Wow! That's all I can say! WOW!
Update soon! :)
| 0oBellina0o 6/18/12 . chapter 11
Intense! Can't wait for more! :)
| FallenHero93 6/16/12 . chapter 11
There are still a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, but I definitely see an improvement from that point of view.
The moment when Christina decided not to leave her husband came a bit too early for my taste. I mean she returned to him kinda quickly. But, well, that’s just my preference.
Also, the marriage card thingy seems kinda cheesy for a guy who indulges in criminal acts :)) But whatever, it might be just his soft spot. (By the way, I found the original source on the Internet). Don’t take it too hard, dear, but here’s my honest opinion: this fanfic is becoming less about Hans Gruber the criminal, head of a pseudo-terrorist organisation and more about Hans Gruber, husband and future father and his relationship with his family. I get it, he doesn’t have to act all evilly all the time, but here I barely see any mention of his evil thoughts or hating the cop who pushed him (almost) to his death.
I was actually wondering as I was reading this chapter if you knew CPR. But then I read the author’s note. Yeah, what you wrote is correct, at least from what I know (I’ve once taken a free CPR class).
I was a bit surprised at this part: “he saw that Christina had finished disrobing Hans and had left him in his boxers”. Why would she keep the boxers on? Yeah, if they were in a movie, they’d keep that on for…uh, viewing reasons, but … that still is a wet clothing item on him.
| Gillingham 6/2/12 . chapter 10
Oh boy what a rollercoaster ride! And such a cliffy in the end - now I really want to know how you'll navigate further form this point on!
| FallenHero93 5/30/12 . chapter 10
Well, at first I didn't understand why you'd told me I would freak out. But I got it towards the end...I wouldn't say I really freaked out, in fact I liked the intensity of the scenes. I'm also planning to write a novella that's full of violence (really rated R), so you can rest assured, I won't have any nightmares about it (I hope).
I have a question though: how come he can wash and dress himself if he's...uh, you know, paralysed? I haven't had any paralysed people in my family so I wouldn't know, but is it possible?
| FallenHero93 5/29/12 . chapter 8
Chapter 8 ended a bit abruptly. But I prefer this one to Chapter 9 because it's more "intense", so to say. The last one is a bit improved, though, from the grammar point of view. You still have several spelling mistakes and very few repetitions, but it's alright.
My predictions? Let's think of violent, bad stuff: one/both (you said "babies", but I don't think it's more than twins) of the kids is/are born dead because of Christina's stress, Christina and/or Mrs. Hans Gruber's mom (lol) dies, Hans sees no progress and gets angrier, they tell him he cannot walk again, John McClain and/or the cops find out he's alive...Pretty nasty stuff, eh?
| SevSnape's Rickmaniac 5/28/12 . chapter 9
Wow! Don't mess with Hans' mom!
I think Hans' mom should come back and yell at him some more XD
| FallenHero93 4/9/12 . chapter 7
This is a really nice story! There are still some issues with spelling, punctuation and a few grammar mistakes. Don't take it personally, all I want to do is help you improve! Here are some samples (I corrected up to chapter 4):
Ch 1: glasses braking – breaking
"If he was going to die he was going to take that American Cowboy with him" Hans thought to himself. – If these are his thoughts and they are in direct speech aka they have the „” sign, you should make them in the 1st person (use „I” instead of „he”)
He lost his grip and plummet downward. – use „plummeted”, both verbs have to be in the same tense
The wind rushed pass at an alarming, closer and closer the ground came towards him. – Rephrase that as „the wind rushed past him at an alarming rate – the ground was coming towards him closer and closer”
ch 2: The second thing he notices – make that „noticed”
He couldn't make out his surroundings the room was to dark. – Make it „…surroundings, since the room was too dark” or „surroundings – the room was too dark”
The lost thing – The last thing
Ch 3: Hans stirred again, and his eyelids fluttering. – Either „his eyelids fluttered” or „[..] again, his eyelids fluttering”
same room as before. This room was much nicer and warm. The room – This repetition might be annoying. Try replacing „room” with „this one” or „it”. Also, „much nicer” and „warmer”
The man skin – The man’s skin
Hans drank the cold water greedily soothing – Insert a comma between water and greedily.
Hans head – Hans’ head
Hans simple stared – simply
"No it's not but let us – Insert a comma between not and but.
her husband pale hand – her husband’s pale hand
She was short women about 5'5 – She was a short woman, about 5’5’’ tall. Again a few sentences later, you said: She was normally a fit women – women is the plural, woman is the singular.
"Oh Hans I was so worried." – Comma between Hans and I.
laid a gently hand on his chest had pushed him – „gentle” and „and” instead of „had”
Please don't try and move you'll – try it like this: Please don’t try to move, you’ll…
Also, the ending for Chapter 3 was kinda sudden.
Ch 4: Good that seems to – comma between good and that
placed into out and placed it on Hans' chest. – took it out and placed it…
Hans raised an eyebrow a little taken aback to hear he been out that long. – First, a comma between eyebrow and „a”, then you’ve used „to be out” in the previous sentence as well, try rephrasing.
waking up that once – either “waking up once” or “waking up that time”
"Oh Hans, your finally awake" – you’re
she was so happen – happy
| 0oBellina0o 2/22/12 . chapter 7
Nice story, please continue :) I think he's gonna be a good daddy!
| Gillingham 1/24/12 . chapter 6
Very interesting concept - I wonder if the baby will trigger Hans to pull his head out nd to find motivation to heal. :)
| Lexicon 12/15/11 . chapter 6
An interestinbg premise... and, well, Alan Rickman, yeah 'nuff said.
| Annette 9/23/11 . chapter 5
He should've let his wife stay. Looking forward to more!