Don't worry, I'm not going to flame this story - I'm just going to try to help.

I liked this fic, even though it was tough for me to read it. Well, I'll try to be as helpful as possible but I am terrible at explaining things so try to bare with me here, lol.

First off, when someone is talking, put the quotations(") at the beginning and ending of their line. I hope I'm not sounding/treating you like a little kid I'm trying not to!

here's an example from a line from your fic -

instead of - -Your dad is not abusing you is he? Cory asked

this is the correct way.

"Your dad is not abusing you is he?" Cory asked.

And like everybody else is saying it's Feeny, instead of Finni - but thats okay.

As I said I liked this story a lot but maybe you could have someone check it for you and help with the grammer, puncuation marks...email me if ya' want sometime - I don't care if all of you know my email address now, I like email hahaha

Alicia

Ever read a fic called Dangerous Secrets? Click on my name and read it! You'll see why. Also, you need a spell checker, and to use seporate parigraphs when someone new is talking.

Hi Angle, don't let fanficfeva and quicksilver upset you, when I read their reviews,which I don't think could even be defined

as reviews as they are so slating. Ignore what they said completly and

I hope you didn't take their out of order comments to heart, especially fanfics insult about learning to spell.

I completly agree with Glittering Pegasus, who I feel gave a fair review, I, also like her haven't read it as yet, as I don't have time as I'm about to be kicked out the computer lab. I have a suggestion for you, do you have a beta reader or anyone who can check your spelling and grammar?

I think you've been very brave to put up your own stories and you should be proud of yourself I mean this sincerly. I hate it when people who just read a story and instead of making positive/ constructive criticism completly slate your work, it is completly unnecessary. I even registered only to encourage you to keep up your writing, and to get the help I mentioned before and then no one will have an excuse to be so mean.

OK I think I've gotten the outrage out of my system now. I'll try and read your stories when I find time, (i.e when I'm not writing uni coursework.) If you want someone to read your story to check for grammar you can always email me. I may not be able to do it all the time as I don't always have access to a computer accept at term time in university. I break up for summer at the end of May so up until then I'll be able to help you if you want it.

I dont think people should have been so mean about your fic, its not that shabby of a story, its just that there are grammar mistakes. Cant you get that across to someone without having to be so mean?

I thought this story, first off, was VERY strange. Not only was it one big spelling/grammer mistake, it was hard to understand. Plus, Shawn doesn't just cry like that! And Mr Feeny...not Mr. Finni, Mr. Fiini and Mr. Fini you twit!

to Glittering Pegasus- have you ever actually got a flame? because the review said by QuickSilver-Fox is barely a flame, if at all one, and fanficforevers is totally not a flame.

learn to delete your fist chapter after you re-edit your second one. I think that's what you did wrong. Did you not know how to delete it? Because there is an extra line in the second chapter.

you really need to re-edit and put in quotaion marks (" ")

in all honesty, I didn't actually read this story. I'm just the kind of person who likes to point out a few things to flamers-

1. reviews should encourage the writer to do better, not make them want to crawl under a blanket and never type a single letter again

2. can you think of a way to point out the negatives of a story without sounding like your soul mission in life is to put people down?

3. I'm sure it wasn't this writer's fault that they posted a chapter twice- it's happened to a lot of us before- and it's certainly no reason to flame.

ok, well that's all I have to say. buh bye

This doesn't make no sense and hard to read. It's Feeny. Not Finni. LEARN HOW TO SPELL. Get you puctuations straight too.

Oy! Are you trying to kill me? Not to be too mean, but What the HELL WAS THAT? No puncuation besides ! and ?s. And 'Feeny' was spelled wrong. Three different times. Plus, I'm pretty sure Mr. Turner's name is spelled Jon, but that's just petty. But did you really have to enter it twice? "what?" is a approperiate enough title for the "second posting" of it. That's what I was think while TRYING so very hard to read the whole thing, which I could not accomplish. You poor thing. I suppose you've never been exposed to a book, have you?