|Reviews for A Clean Break|
| kage kitsune no yami 1/4/13 . chapter 23
| UnfadingPromise 12/14/12 . chapter 23
O_o oh shoot Byakura is cumin Tsu-kun needs 2 watch out.. Nice chappie, can't wait for more!
| VongolaFamilia 12/6/12 . chapter 23
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
| yconne 10/30/12 . chapter 23
Oh my gosh, I just love this so much.
| Sailor GaOn Donut 10/18/12 . chapter 23
| ArowaRimu 10/4/12 . chapter 17
Hey Dream, it's me again. Haven't heard from you in a while, you haven't even been updating(I think.)
All right, on to this chapter! Ha ha, pineapple! Love that comment, as well as how you had Tsuna reflect on it like that. Strangely, the scene gives off an uneasy feeling: Your portrayal of Mukuro feels... lacking somewhat.
He does not feel smart enough. Well, maybe I'm just nitpicking, but he was the genius that planned their escape from the Vindice prison.
Love the way you presented Natsu as well! Is every one of their box animals gonna talk like that? For some reason I keep hearing a high pitched voice whenever I see those underlined sentences, kinda like Happy's(Fairy Tail) voice, ha ha!
Jirou and Kojirou makes their appearance as well! Although, it made me think, because Jirou was just a regular dog before, and now he's spouting rain flames? Really surprising!
Oh, and I cringed a bit at the swear near the end, kinda feels unnecessary.
Don't worry, your fight scenes are well done. Short, simple and concise. I find my own writing often deviating and going into the long-winded route, so reading yours was a nice change of pace!
Pretty good chapter, although if there's one thing that can be improved, is perhaps the animosity from Mukuro, or the tension between Tsuna and him at the moment. Everything feels laid back right now, like their just having a practice/training session.
Will read the next chapter when I can, and reach the latest chapter!
| Guest 9/17/12 . chapter 17
Um... I'd say that it's a bit TOO rushed... Suddenly, Tsuna can get into dying will mode? Only cause he was getting tortured by Reborn? Well, he'd have the dying will flame more earlier cause Reborn tortures him EVERY SINGLE TIME he can! So it's not making any sense and I kniw that it was because he wanted to take care of his friends and stuff, but he did want that A LOT every single time. I'd rather have a slow but detailed update over a rushed progress any time. I'm not sure with other people though and I'm only saying this because I felt that the recent chapters just zoomed through things and a summary of what happened would be much more detailed and useful... I know that it's offensive but more than a lot, it only shows him power up, not HOW he did it. You could've even said how long they trained to activate the dying will flame. Whta Gokudera and Yamamoto did to get where they are now. Looks like you just skipped them and now, even mentioning that they bothered to train seems a bit pointless cause I don't even know if it took them 1 day, a few hours or maybe less by the sounds of it. I don't mean to baby you so I'm sure you know what I mean, you could add some points on Lambo's pov, how did he know that Tsuna was Vongola so quickly? I bet that you never bothered thinking. How did Lambo know where he was going? Tsun has hyper inntuition, he would've spotted Lambo if he tailed them like how he did Kikyo, but Tsuna is WAY to dense about Kikyo imo. But good plot and thinking.
| Natsume1111 8/13/12 . chapter 23
I just reread this fiction like that and it always pleases me much, too bad there is still no result.
It is true that its been a long time, do you quit or something?
| ArowaRimu 8/12/12 . chapter 16
Wow, in my opinion, this is the best chapter so far!
Remember that review back when I said I felt Ryohei seemed too one-dimensional? I read on a few paragraphs, up till that one sentence and bamf!
He's become that much more in depth as a character! I suppose it is but a natural reaction, still you did what the manga tried! Now I get the impression that his usual facade might be something he keeps on so that he can look cheerful before Kyoko. That's he can be serious when he wants to! I like that, I like that a lot!
That's not all, that part with Kikyo? Hilarious. Good job. Now some may argue that it might've become too OOC for the guy, but I'm under the impression that in war, we all act a little more differently than we usually do. So, I like you idea of injecting more personality into Kikyo.
Vanity and Sarcasm fit into his established personality very well might I add!
After that it's the standard part where the gang goes into Kokuyo Land, pretty standard. That flashback was a nice touch.
Then we have the Kokuyo Gang, together with Mukuro, appearing in the classic villain style. Reminds me of those scenes where the villains would sit in rotating chairs and just turn to face the heroes when they arrive.
All the while I'm thinking... 'Where's Lancia?'
Well, thing's are definitely heating up. I am interested in seeing how you portray the combat and how Tsuna is gonna grow from it in the future chapters, but now I'm also interested in more character development!
See you in the next chapter review.
| Narutopokefan 8/2/12 . chapter 24
Please update soon :) ! Bye
| ArowaRimu 6/14/12 . chapter 15
Hey, it's another review again. Seems you haven't been updating this story, I'll try to catch up to the latest chapter then.
The writing's fine in this chapter, pretty understandable and I didn't find any mistakes, or maybe that's just the result of my low attention span...
Really liking the amount of progress in this chapter, with Byakuran out of the picture, Mukuro is on the move! I like seeing the everyday interaction between the members, they feel natural now. In fact, they feel better than the previous chapters, although, Ryohei is still as loud as before.
The small part about Leon caught my attention, no doubt the 'egg' passed on to Tsuna will have a big impact on the story. Maybe you're planning something new for our Vongola boss? I'm looking forward to it!
This chapter reminds me of the chapters working their way towards the revelation of Hyper Dying will mode, with the group meeting up to combat Mukuro. One strange thing, though, why didn't Rebron mention how dangerous Mukuro is to the Mafia world? Or maybe his history is different?
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter soon!
| ArowaRimu 5/19/12 . chapter 14
Hey, it's me Arowa, here again for yet another review. I... don't think this will be a long one, considering the length of this particular chapter. Well, without further ado.
Chrome's sudden appearance is so... random. Hibari being hold captive seems to be going on forever. I hope he gets some development soon.
Yamamoto got quite a lot of insight in this chapter, though there is one part in that paragraph that got me slightly confused. He asked his father out of the restaurant, but when his father got there, Yamamoto got confused. Why is that? Otherwise, good story, even for a filler.
Seeing how their respective box animals are coming together as real animals at the character's side makes me think something's gonna happen, like a power-up that requires both user and animals to work.
The short story about Tsuna and Lambo is heart-warming as well, at least for me it is. Though I would love to see the action starting, I guess the emotions of family from the little things in this chapter makes it okay for me to wait a few more chapters.
Well, I'll try to read on, move on to the next chapter as soon as I can. Will be back again, definitely.
| BleachedShadow 4/14/12 . chapter 17
...Oh Lambo, I love you. So much. XD
| Chi-tanda 4/12/12 . chapter 24
I love this story Please update soon!
| ArowaRimu 3/8/12 . chapter 13
Hey, it's me again. I'm trying to reach your latest chapter! Without further ado, let's begin.
First thought, I was surprised to see a Yamamoto-focused chapter(somewhat, I guess) Just a basic training chapter then.
I guess the jokes at the beginning is somewhat believable... It still feels weirdly strange, however. I think it's a bit too much. The part about that little trick Yamamoto does is a neat way of portraying the property of his flame, though, good job!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Hibari knows Rebecca Black? What the heck? The fourth-wall breaking is almost too much! It almost took me off and out of the story itself! It's hilarious though, nice job! Oh, and the last line, it should be in present tense. You do not say 'I was Hibari' when it's his name and it hasn't changed.
I am surprised at how easily Tsuna can enter Hyper Dying Will mode, though... It kinda takes the drama out of the power-up. Oh, and the thing about Yamamoto being able to summon flames instantaneously, acceptable, but it made me wonder why they need rings if they can just produce flames like that, in other words, it's creating a loophole.
Overall a nice, expected chapter with no surprises. At this point of the story, after all that's happened I enjoyed having a little peace midst the chaos. Strange that Tsuna wasn't more worried for Hibari, but other than that, good chapter. Will read on when possible, goodbye!