|Reviews for The Warden's Daughter|
| Aqua Tiger 5/20/13 . chapter 1
PLEASE! CONTINUE! Very awesome for your first story!
| This Emo Girl Needs Love 12/9/12 . chapter 1
Please write more. I want to see what happens
| Guest 7/7/12 . chapter 1
You really should continue with this story it's pretty good
()() good job (0.0)
| ShadowCat98 1/31/12 . chapter 1
Awe, but you wouldn't mind being her father would you Warden?
| Pharaoh-chan 7/24/11 . chapter 1
This is your first fanfiction, you said? In that case, I will be as gentle as I can be. XD
First off, your ENTIRE story was in bold, making it difficult to read. It was literally an eyesore. I don't know why you would bold it, honestly. It isn't as if the text sticks out in a helpful way than any other normally written story. Your paragraph formatting is alright, but it'd be nice to see some dips into just dialogue for a few lines, and then back to a descriptive paragraph, rather than lumping the dialogue and what they're doing and where they are in the same paragraph all the time.
Onto the story itself, if you'd really paid attention to the Superjail series, The Warden hates children. 13 year olds aren't an exception m'dear, and probably won't ever be. I don't think the Warden would ever wake up one day and want a child- they make him feel old. This isn't my opinion, it was an entire episode. XD
In short, it's not a terrible story, and I'm sure you're just writing it for fun, but it'd be nice if you reworked some of your initial ideas and formatting to make it compatible and enjoyable to read, as I'm sure it is to you to write.