Damn, another cliffhanger XD I don't think you were losing your touch with this, though. The lyrics weren't bad and I liked Makalov XD ;-; Nice work as usual, my brother.

Wow, your chapters are so detailed to the point where they just flow in every sentence they are imputed into; I especially liked how you incorporated Lucia's emotions into the story. Wonderful job with this. :D I noticed one little itsy-bitsy mistake. When you wrote about Lucia's shoulders becoming taut you wrote taught instead. Now worries though; I knew what you meant. :D Keep it up, this story is amazingly and and so well written.

The cliffhanger is going to drive me nuts now, trying to think of who it could be. XD

Eesh, a cliffhanger indeed! I can't wait for the next chapter, cause now I wanna know what was up with the mysterious man at the end and the woman talking from behind Lucia. :O

My brother-man! Good to see ya again :D I very much enjoyed this chapter as well...indeed, Lucia seemed in character and the battle/sparring scene was great. Nice work, as usual :D :D :D

It has been too long, but I return to leave another review. Your dialogue in particular is very well written, both fitting for the characters and fluid.

I have finally determined why I find your ornate language distracting, despite ordinarily holding no qualms with it: it is in very sharp contrast to the dialogue. Most other texts utilizing such language [at least the ones that I have read in the past] are either purely informational and thus has no characters or dialogue [see nearly any political document at least two hundred years of age] or utterly filled with purple prose, including the dialogue itself [see Lord of the Rings, among others]. Unfortunately I do not know how to solve this, for dialogue is obvious a necessity here, but you cannot rewrite the characters so that their speech patterns would follow the remainder of the text [unless the character's name is Bastian or Oliver, but I digress]. Nor can I suggest that you change your style now, but it is something to note for future pieces.

On a nearly identical note, a character's thoughts when written in such a style is occasionally contradictory to their natural voice, particularly in the case of individuals as blunt as Ike. It works rather well with Otis, however; he overall seems to be a rather well done original character. My only complaint with him is that I wish he had more redeeming qualities, but I am unsurprised to see no evidence suggesting so; it tends to be more difficult to implement this early on.

If memory serves, there were two minor typos in this chapter, but I forgot to note them as I located them, so I can offer no further assistance on the matter.

As always, it was quite an interesting and enjoyable read. But before I close here, I have two questions. First, is Boldan an original character, because I do not recall him from anywhere. If not, when does he appear in the game [presumably Path of Radiance, which I have only played once]? Second, what does the Ancient Language text written on the cover of the this piece say? It is difficult for me to read when it is so small.

Hmm, interesting...is Lucia falling to drink? I thought so, that was my first impression, but I'm not sure. Sad as it is, it does make sense, though.

And yay for Archage, LordEphidel, and Shiverinthelight! They're new folks around here, but they're all cool. Glad you've met them as well :D :D :D

Poor Lucia. Very good portrayal of her psychological issues following the rebellion. And once again, I think you have a knack for dialogue...even though the palace guard was just an unnamed guy, you really give him a voice suited to a medieval setting like FE's. I wish I could do that better :D

And wow, I didnt know that about the ancient language in PoR...whoah o,o

Hmm...You do a very good job with descriptions, much like another friend of mine, Scuttlest (you should check out his fics )

Good job characterizing the robbers, with Parzal helping them out but selling them out too.

Man, it's been a while since I played PoR/RD...was Bolden really such a sneak?

Otis keeps talking about his old lord...now I wanna know more about him XD

Again, nice work :D

Aite, my brother-man, since you asked for reviews imma give you some. I'll do chapter by chapter, if thats OK with you? I think you do a good job of weaving in both canon characters and OCs (and don't worry about the length XD). Very nice battle scene. And I wonder what's up with Otis...he sneaky!

Wow, the details are stunning as is the way you write. I liked this a lot :D A perfect beginning to the events after Radiant Dawn.

Hello, Freelancer :D

Ah, this length is much better. You should shorten the chapters up for rest of the story, makes it easier on the eyes and less easy for me to lose my spot when I'm reading XD

Yay for the return of Otis the Creeper! XD Yeah, he still creeps me out a lot, and you still protray that aspect of him really well. Good for you.

Oh? I quite liked the pub scene, it was interesting to read. And when Otis said that line after he left the bar, it really got shivers down my spine XD He's so creepy. And by the way, did you invent or come up with the concept of that dagger? I really think its interesting.

YAY for the Greil Mercenaries! The whole thing with Titania was interesting, I'm assuming you will expand further on her backstory as the story progresses... And you got Soren's character down pat.

Anyways, your writing is still as descriptive as ever, and I really, really like your poetic style. There were one or two little itty-bitty grammar errors, but I'm just nit-picking here XD

Well, this was a really great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more :)

Archsage

THIS. WAS. MINDBLOWINGGG!

I'm honestly in awe at the epicness of this. After seeing the artwork I was convinced that I needed to read this otherwise I wouldn't be at peace. Boy, am I glad I read it! While I was expected this was to be really good, I didn't expect it to make my jaw drop!

Hey Freelancer! :D

Well, once again, you write is so much detail, it's amazing! I don't find it tedious, although I suppose some people will... Anyhoo, the first little bit with the council did drag on a little bit, but other than that, it was fine. I really liked how you portrayed Lucia's outburst as well.

You have no idea how much as I squealed when I read the word 'Ike'. I love the Greil Mercenaries 3 But in RD, didn't it say that Oscar returned to the Crimean Royal Knights and Ike left on to discover foreign lands and was never seen again? Anyways, whatever, I was so happy too see their return :) Shinon's a butthole, like usual XD

Anyways, I'm quite creeped out by Otis but he seems to be a really interesting character. Just one thing, though... I would think Robert would be quite upset when his horse was killed and blindly charge at Otis to try killing him. After all, a rider and his horse usually share very close bonds, no?

Please don't take my criticism too much to heart, as I barely feel I have the right to tell you that you did something wrong, as your writing is tenfold better than mine. Anyways, I wa just nitpicking... But once again, this story is absolutely amazing and I really love your poetic way of writing :) I like the return of the GM and I'm excited to see as to how everything entertwines in the end!

Great chapter! Good job :)

Archsage

...Wow. Freelancer, that was definitely one of the best fanfictions I have ever read. I know that this is only the first chapter, but it already seems like you have organised or thought up a great storyline.

I really like your OC's :) They have much more character than most others, and Otis seems like a creepy fellow. Anyways, I see that you kind of have two stories in this at once, I mean it has Lucia, with her being unable to sleep because of nightmares, and Otis, who is... I'm not quite sure yet XD I'm assuming that these two stories will intertwine somehow, and I'm looking forwards to it :)

Well, your writing is ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE. So muh detail, and you describe things so vivdily I could just imagine this story happening right in front of my eyes... Honestly, this is absolutely amazing.

In terms of critique... well, to be perfectly honest, I actually can't think of anything that comes to mind :) But anyways, sorry for the lame-o reviews, but I'll be reading up on this story for the next few days, I promise you :)

Good job, this is truly amazing.

Archsage

I always love reading Lucia's part of the story and from her point of view; I think you write it well and make it really interesting (or maybe because I have a bias toward Lucia). I don't quite remember whether this was part of the original story or not (if it was, I don't seem to have any recollection of this scene), but either way, I very much enjoyed it.

I actually really liked the idea of someone else, and an enemy nonetheless, being able to see Lucia's inner turmoil. There is almost some great irony in it all, in the way that she tries so much to hide everything from Elincia and Geoffrey, and yet someone can just give her a single glance and recognize the fear in her eyes. Okale is trained in magic, so he may have a trained eye as well, but I found it interesting all the same. I also liked how Lucia went to him to try to understand what is wrong with her.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to see the next one! Hopefully it won't take as long for me next time :P