You have to write more! I want to know how this ends so badly. You're a very good writer and have me hooked! The only thing I noticed throughout all of this that needs attention, is a tiny spelling mistake... In too places, you meant to spell "off," but left out an "f" so it doesn't read right. Simple editing will fix this. But seriously good job! I want more!

Well, I would like to see more because I'm curious. I'm glad there are others in this category I\one would think that this movie has sequel written all over it. All the same please continue! _

Intruiging opening. Hope you write more