I really like the way you differentiated Light and Kira and portrayed the emotional battle of someone who's pretty much insane (something we really didn't see in the manga). Maybe you have to be a little insane to write something so horrific and beautiful, haha

You should encounter boredom more often then, this was absolutely breathtaking! Also, I think you mispelled in these two places;

'something akin to fascinating on his face. He was a monster, he was a monster…', I think you meant fascination?

and here;

'with the same thrall that Kira radiated.

I think you meant thrill? Sorry if one of these is wrong, just thought I'd point that out. I'm looking forward to your Death Note and Danny Phantom fics! You're the best author EVER! No doubt about it.

Oh dear, just as twisted as I expected from you... Shame... NOT!

Loved how you made Light seem so close to breaking in here. Like, he was trying to fight off Kira but in the end, his oh so genius mind panickly weighed the choices and he decided to go with Kira... Perfect And he seemed so close to refusing to give in... What a pity

Seriously, they need to make Kira a character for the DN fandom XD