"A small figure was weaving THEIR way"- I think you chose the wrong word.

The way you described their pain... it's raw and devastating. In this chapter, every single word conveyed this agony. Flawless writing.

One word: amazing.

Nice and captivating story so far - I really like the description of your hurting Lily Brenner, well done! The insight into the characters is amazing, and on top of that - Ben and Lily are my favourites, too! :-) Keep writing, this could be really nice! I am looking forward to reading more,

take care, K.

Love this story, hope you continue on :)

Wow, that was good. You really jumped right into Lily's head and tore through all she was thinking. I could feel it every step of the way.

Love the beginning and hope you pick it up again. Someone has to end the story lines that were left dangling. Kudos to you for not attempting a heart transplant in the middle of the jungle.

Continue :)