Nice job. Very technical sounding. One thing. Senior officers may refer to junior officers by first nem, but never the other way round in public. Trust me. Also, we never refer to a officer junior to ourselves, but senior to the person we are talking to by first name either. Hoshi wouldn't call Lt. Reed Malcolm to Captain Archer or to Malcolm's face and Archer would not refer to Commander Tucker as Trip when talking to Hoshi. Great start. I'd advise against going smut though. The story is too good to cheapen that way.

Love the interaction between T'Pol and Trip! This reads just like a episode on tv! I do have a question, and I apologize if I'm being a stickler for details, but I thought replicators weren't invented for a while yet? I know there are protein resequencers, but replicators? Minor point, but for me, I love the series because everything that was taken for granted in all previous shows isn't so in this one. Please continue!

I liked the technical jargon, and the trouble and the pains that you took to make it sound believable and plausable. :) Everything in the story could be something out of an episode of Enterprise, abeit a well done one (there have been far too many filler episodes as of lately). I thought the story itself was beautifully written, and I like the small font, easier on the eyes (to viddy). I'm sure the rest of the story will be just as well done, and eagerly await the next chapter. Cheers!

- ayla

I like the relationships between the characters here, and I look forward to reading more. (And I'm not even a Trip/T'Pol fan .)

Love the way you started out, really intriguing. And the Trip/T'Pol interaction is great! I really hope you post the next part soon! (wink wink, nudge nudge) :-

This first chapter is so beautifully written, I'm completely hooked. I always enjoy stories where that develop Trip and T'Pol's relationship slowly, instead of assuming it already exists. Your technical musing were also well thought, and are quite possible IMHO. I only suggestion, and I'm sure this is nick-picking, is that Southern read the same english text that everyone else does, stories sometimes become difficult to read when Trip's drawl is captured in print. I believe it would be easier to write normally and let the reader infer the accent. BTW I loved your use of the chronometer, very nautical

Hi, this is an interesting start, I loved how the story flowed; you have excellent pacing in storytelling. I also thought that the inclusion of technical details was well done, which emphasize Trip's ability, and it works well to show readers that he is a brilliant engineer. The humour is cute and well placed.

All in all, very well done. I like reading stories which assume that the reader is half way intelligent and can comprehend more complex writing structure. I liked the variety in your construction, it keeps the reading fresh.

Ok..it's very good...maybe a bit over the top with the technical jargon...but your major problem is that some of your sentences seem to

run into one another. It might just be me, but it's a bit hard to read. The small print is also a factor. Another thing...NC-17..where?

This is G rated stuff. Finally..small point..but i don't believe this Ebterprise's computer

is voice activated nor can it scan internally

for specific crew member locations..that does not show up till TNG. Anyway..like the story.

Q

Your writing style is beyond amazing! I absolutely loved this story so far, PLEASE don't wait too long to post more - I'm terribly impatient when it comes to good stories! :-)

Hey, nice job on the warp engine details. I've no idea if you're using terms correctly, but it certainly sounded convincing. I was a little confused by the time frame though, since Trip referred to it as early morning, and T'Pol as evening. That's not to say I didn't enjoy it a lot, though.