Great. You made a huge improvement in description and sentence structure from chapter 3 to 4. Awesome job! I don't care if you don't update these stories again, but anything I read I have to review, so...

it's been over a year (just) since you've updated. and, ya know, writing as a hobby is grand and all that jazz, but if you're gonna post a story on a website, you really should post chapters semi-often. a year is not cool. well, i've given up on a post, even though i did like your story, it's just not worth it.

very good story, i like it a lot!

The girls won Yay! That was a good start!

All right, here I go. Your story is very good. However there are a few things. You switch from past tense to present tense at one point. Also, if this is set during Page; it isn't Kel Cleon is talking about, is it? They started going out in Squire.

im sure u do have a life and all that good stuff, but if ur gonna post stories, then u should take the responsibility to update. if u just enjoy writing as a hobby, and dont write on the same story on a regular basis, then u shouldnt post them. it was an ok chapter. it was entertaining. and good enough.

ttfn,

me!

You have exactly 10 days to update before I give up on your story for ever.

you have until July 17 to update. that is all.

4th chapter?

Hello?

Hurry!

PLEASE!

I'm dyin here!

ummmmm...its good...but i think u need 2 work sum parts out...but overall its really good...i can't wait 4 ch.4 and all the otha chaptyers u want 2 reveill(if i could spell this would b much easier)lol

cat

Devilkitti8 , Will you leave me alone? I'm trying to get good grades in school. Geez, do you think that I have no life and just sit in front fo the computer writing stories all day? I get around 5 hours of homework each day from school. That doesn't leave me time for ANYTHING until summer vacation! If you want updates for my older stories, you have to wait until Summer vacation or Spring Break.

I can't review again if I sign in so I'll review this way. I'm working on my new fanfic right now. Just be PATIENT! I'll work on this when I'm done chapter 2 of my new one.

(To Meali: I know that the third chapter is not something that they would actually do. I just wrote it because I was feeling silly at that time.)

its been a while, so wheres chapter 4? patience is NOT a virtue i have lots of. i've been waiting 4VE update! come on... plz update! pretty plz with chocolate sauce whipped cream with a cherry and sprinkles!

its been a "while", so UPDATE!

I'm trying to write more, but I have other fanfictions to work on, too. Just be patient.