Wow! I really enjoyed your story!I really enjoyed your Marak, keep up the good work!

Hello. I love Hollow Kingdom and I love how you're going about this story! I think Jamie is very realistic and I like Silverhand.

I know it's probably been a while since you're posted this chapter, but I thought I'd weight in on your poetry question. I really don't see the point in analyzing poetry either. I like poetry, but I'm not into all the deep stuff like Robert Frost, etc. For a creative writing class, we had to do a poetry anthology, and all my poems were little kid poems. ) I like the rhyming and the meaningful, but obvious ones. I like writing poetry, but mostly whatever I do is free form. I can't stand having to follow a specific pattern.

I'm excited for the rest of the story, I'm going to read it right now! I'm hoping I'll get a lot of guidance from this story, I've finally been in a writing mood for the past week or so and I'm writing a Hollow Kingdom one as well, and I want to do really good on it, but there are still things I have troubles with. Showing emotions is the hardest part for me, and I don't know why. I want people to relate but it's hard for me to put forth a character's personality, and I'm trying to study how you do it as best as I can. I want to get a whole bunch written before I start posting, lest it end up like my other multi-chapter story. Anyway, if you have any other advice for me, that would be great, but right now, I'm going to read some more. )

Thanks!

So I'm back. Thanks for the excuse, I feel so special.

I'm looking forward to the sequel. Honestly, Jamie was starting to annoy me, and Nabusar does interest me a bit more.

I also want to learn more about the fairy race, and how the other races didn't know about them. The few HK stories that have introduced other races don't always pull it off, so good luck to you. It seems like you've done a lot of research, so that should help.

All the extra stuff was fun to read too. In case you couldn't tell, I love extra bonus stuff, so it's nice to see other authors including it as well.

Looking forward to the sequel.

Well, I LOVED the story. While reading the end I saw, well hats the end, and I'm like...wait WHAT! Then I read about the sequel and was happy again! Im to lazy to make this long YAY!

Sorry for being on the low down you know how work is

I just felt like the last chapter didn't have much going for it except for the set up for the subplot though I did like the set up in this chapter and the reveal about the owner of the Hallow halls lounge and Nabusars plot with the involvement of hurting the Elf king wife, though I don't know if that could happen wouldn't the seven star spell protect her from Goblin harm? anyway Nabusar has got enemies with the Elf King and it looks like he's going to piss him off even more because I suspect he did just take the blind girl after the cut looks Nabusar's going to piss off the elf king even more, now.

Nabusar how is it you seems to be getting deeper and deeper in trouble with the Elf king without even knowing it?

Great chapter! Please update soon!

Sorry I didn't review I wasn't signed in and was to lazy to do so xD

Anyways great chapter can't wait for the meeting and to see what that elf women ghost thingy was about!

This will just serve as a review for this and possibly preceding chapters all rolled into one.

It's funny how Charm had to save Jamie from being smothered to death. It's just a shame it didn't get to share how many wives it has saved from such a fate.

I find it odd that the goblins, or at least Marak, wear modern clothing such as jeans, but the writing equipment still consists of quill pens and parchment.

I thought Jamie's boast to become the best King's Wife to be the very proof of her childishness, since it's a rather unrealistic goal. Her interaction with Marak and Nabusar at dinner also seemed too civil, and rather unnatural given her attitude thus far.

Nabusar is my favorite character from this story. I tend to like minor/supporting characters much more than the main ones. This unfortunately results in the character being killed off in the canon-verse about 90% of the time. However, since you have a sequel planned for him, I don't have to worry about that. Anyway, it is great when he puts Jamie in her place, and doesn't put up with her childish antics.

Well looks like the rocky road keeps on rolling, I'm glad it's not just going to be about Marak and Jamie fighting and trying to get along because looks like we've got plenty of that in store and don't need to much more of that. Nabusar almost blew his top which was interesting to show that Jaime can push his buttons but Jaime keeps getting more and more immature as she goes along, though Marak tickling Jaime was funny. The end was actually pretty refreshing reminds me of China Mievilles work the Scar where the sex scenes don't have any flowery proses and in the Scar just had "and then they had sex" that's almost word for word on how the chapters ended but reminded me of it cause in the Scar the two characters didn't love each other either so it was nice that the book wasn't taken up by sex scenes that don't need to be in there.

I can't wait to see the sequel on Nabusar and what you have planned for the elf he's going to marry, if it even is an elf he's going to marry.

Also I never got the translations of what Sheddura and Nabusar's names mean so I'd love to know that

Yes they totally played chess! Who won? I would totally win! Great story loving it!

Well, I guess Nabusar isnt so bad after all...nice to see everyone getting along for once...ha ha ha.

Nicely done. :)

I know, I know.

I just can't help myself! :)

Gee Cece

Bossy much? :)

Backseat writer over here

Back again...

Just wanted to say that I'm super excited for your upcoming Nabusar sequel! I want it to include a sassy gal that puts him in his place and keeps him there. It would be incredibly satisfying to see him cowed and at a loss for words, at least temporarily. Also, there should be an explosion. I love explosions. Blow up at least one structure!

Well, I'm keeping you from writing so I'll sign off now. :)

Love

CeCe

This chapter is AWESOME! So are your comments.

"...first, I'd like to thank myself for writing all this. I couldn't have done it without me!"

I laughed so hard. Ya gotta give credit where credit is due. :)

Also, all your chapters are excellent...my lack of reviewing was just due to being crazy busy, but I have read everything you've posted.

But anyway, back to this chapter. I don't agree with you that your characters are bi-polar. I think you've done a great job of making them consistent. I think bi-polar/inconsistent is when a character who has always been nice or even-keeled suddenly does something brutal with no previous behavior like that, or when a character who is not sentimental suddenly becomes disgustingly sentimental. I dislike that. Like if Marak had physically hurt Jamie, that would've been bi-polar. He's not really sadistic, so it would've been out of character.

I found Jamie's punishment chilling and absorbing. What I thought was especially disturbing was that her persecutors looked just like her ancestors...scary! Good job-that there was some quality writing.

I think you're doing an excellent job of making Jamie and Marak's thoughts and reactions realistic and palpable. I also like how you're making Nabusar and Sheddura as compelling as Jamie and Marak. I want to read about them just as much. Update soon!