I know you haven't updated since December and so this is probably pointless but please continue! its good!

Has really good potential, excellently thought out.

Would love to read more.

I've read the story so far and I think that this is great! I can't wait to see what happens next!

This is a really good story, you should totally continue!

Not much to review here. Mostly dialogue for a 'bridging' chapter that will lead us to the next event, inevitably an encounter with this White pikmin's colony it would seem.

It does tease us with some questions, including the 'soulless' quotation (which you did describe to me) as well as pikmin sexes.

Hope to get more information on both in the next chapter

Great suspense here, well done with the creatures. "Spotted Demon" was a very nice touch for a bulborb, though I thought our protagonist got off the hook a bit too easy hehe. The writing in general was solid.

I still feel like we needed some backstory though. I want to hear more (MOAR) about the pikmin's relationship with the onion as that seems to be a major crux of the developing story. I thought it would be nice to have that aspect fleshed out, so I hope to see it in a flashback at least.

The writing is better in general but it's pretty rushed for a first chapter. I know it's nice to have a story that sucks you right in but it feels like they've got thrown in the conflict WAY too fast before we got any of the characters established, let alone any exposition at all.

I can't care for our protagonist and his friend if they're left behind, unless I get some depth into them.

I'll see what the next chapter brings in those terms.

Wow.

This sounds like it's going to be /great/!

It seems you have captured the spirit of what the pikmin are like perfectly. I can't wait for more!