Seven/Deuce, and Queen approves? I wasn't expecting that. A good read there, though there were a few mistakes such as "enraged couch" that were humorous, and small things like "Unbeknown", which sounds better as "unbeknownst". Other than that, it was simple, a bit cliche, but got the point across. The lattermost is what matters most, however.

Heh, that rhymed. Anyway, I like this. Queen kind of made me giggle and squirm - nice touch of humor.

Awesome. You just convinced me to finally write a shoujo-ai story for FF Type-0. You gave me the little push I needed to get moving, so I thank you for that.

Crit,

Truth be told, I felt you could've tried a little more harder when writing Seven's confession. It felt rushed, and it doesn't seem to carry the weight of actual "love". It's like she just said it, and Deuce recoiled for a moment from the 'word' rather than the 'meaning' behind it. (Hopefully you understand what I mean) Basically, I'm trying to say you need a little more depth, bringing in the atmosphere, get the reader to be consumed with descriptions prior to the confession, and then shoot us readers with those lovely three words.

Example: (Starting from "She stared deeply into Deuce's beautiful, bright eyes to summon up the courage she needed.")

— She stared deeply into Deuce's beautiful, bright eyes to summon up the courage she needed. Seven reached out to take her hand, and a small smile tugged the corner of her lips upon the sight of light pink illuminating her beloved's face. She could feel it; coursing through her veins.

Courage.

"Deuce, I wanted to tell you, just in case we don't survive this war.." and Seven could feel her smile grow wider when Deuce's soft fingers beneath her own calloused counterpart, give a reassuring squeeze. "..that I'm in love with you." Seven waits with bated breath, preparing herself for whatever would come next.

There. With a little more added description, some lovely skinship between the characters, and a few pauses in between her lines, depth is given to Seven's confession. Hopefully this clears up any confusion you may have regarding the above's attempt to explain. I feel it's more helpful with examples when giving crit; gives us authors an idea of what to look out for.

All in all, a wonderful attempt, especially since the game hasn't come out yet. (The whole reason I try to avoid writing any fiction for this yet) But be proud, you've motivated me into getting my hands in gear and start writing some shoujo-ai for Type-0.

Hope to see more from you.

I'm not a big shoujo ai person, but hey, there's a good lesson in here. Live in the present and don't leave any regrets behind if you die tomorrow. I'm happy for Seven.

Ha, Nine seems to hit the nail on the head with Queen. Those two my Type-0 OTP. XDDD

Overall, I thought it was a good read :)

It's nicely done! Congratz on making your first Type-0 fanfiction AND making the first Shojo-ai fanfiction! _

I do like Queen's snoopyness, she's so like that even if she denies it. XD

Oh, Nine.

And Yeah, I agree that Seven would be a Lesbian along with her pretty girlfriend, Deuce. Seven would be the guy and Deuce would be the girl in the relationship.

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Oh, just an advice you don't have to use 'XxXXXxX' when someone's thinking/thoughts. Just use italics. Much easier.

Yuki