|Reviews for Magic|
| XxLadyKikixX 11/17/11 . chapter 1
Greetings Primrose23 I'm going to say this once. My reviews are completely just me ranting on certain things about your chapters in stories. If I get of course than your going to have to deal with it. The review shall start...wait for it...not yet...god dam I said wait!...Are you still reading this?...when you wait you wait till the reviews comes up... Woman are you waiting? You know what I'm just going to type it.
It's a good start, not really much of a chapter it feels more like a prologue to me. You know just background information that kind of thing. You could have gone more on description like how they dress and how they do things how they talk how they act. What things they like. I get that Rose is into fashion and Dawn into sports but you could have elaborated on it more. Like what's Rose's signature style or Symbol or What's Dawn's most skillful at? Sports wise. You could have described how the foster home was. Who knows it could have been nice or it could have been horrible. You never stated what kind of place they lived in like was it urban, suburban, or rural? Though I doubt they live on farms. Those are a few things that you could add to your story to you know help you get better at writing. And one huge tip I want to give you is that listen to the lesson in English class, I've learned a lot from that class my teacher is awesome made me open my eyes in some key points when writing. So pay attention in that class.
Anyway overall it was good I'm just wandering what will happen next and if you don't UPDATE I'm going to spam your inbox on FF and your email saying UPDATE a million times. Another thing I want to add is you better be grateful that I've given you a hefty review. Not everyone here get's big ones like these.
Okay last not UPDATE and keep up the good work and I hope to see longer chapters and I wonder if there's going to be pairings?