:O I'm liking this a lot! I do hope you continue. I'm am excited about marak's next visit

WRITE MORE I LOVE THE STORY SO I CAN*T WAIT TO READ MORE PLEAAASE !

This chapter was very casual; it was just two people getting to know each other over a game of chess with a reversal of the usual order in which a couple of this nature bonds. They do seem to have bonded rather quickly, though.

The chess pieces make one wonder what images would represent some of the more ambiguous pieces such as the rook or the knight. And if all the pieces were either goblins or elves, how does one tell which elf/goblin represents which piece? Well, overthinking aside, it was a nice touch.

Valeria's reaction to the possibility that Marak was a married man was unexpected. She was so worried about it that it ended up being rather amusing. I wonder if events are finally catching up to the prologue now, or if Marak will be able avert Valeria's questions regarding his marriage status and prolong this situation further.

You've done a great job with the story so far. I like how the Goblin King has decided not to steal Valeria on the spot. The point with Belinda was a good justification for the decision. Good job on thinking of it. Also, it makes me happy that Valeria has the ability to thwart the King's attempt at taking her. It's nice to have a heroine who can defend herself.

You mentioned that English is your second language, but your grammar and overall command of the language is amazing. Compared to some writing I've seen from native English speakers, you can't even tell that this isn't your first language.

If this story is something you are interested in and want to write, you shouldn't let the reviews, or lack thereof, stop you from writing. :D

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

I loooove your story :D

Noooo! Don't stop writing!

I think it's an interesting story, introducing something new while holding true to the rules of the canon.

I really like this story, keep writing.

Well this makes the first chapter make more sense. In the opening, it appeared that Valeria and Marak were familiar with each other, but then in the past couple it seemed like Marak was going to take her that night. With the deal in place, it allows him to get to know her without taking her right away.

Yay! Marak is back! And he's still as creepy as ever. In a hot stalker way. :P

I do have one problem, though. I think that you should have made Valeria younger, because she's got the air of a teenager, not someone in her twenties. She's just acting and talking like a high-schooler. Not that big of a deal, just kind of annoying.

Great update! I like that she's strong and the goblins can't overpower her so easily. That's a nice change.

I like her name. It has an exotic flair. I'm also curious what kind of dancing she does. Spanish types perhaps? Something like that would be pretty cool. Anyway, after the prologue, it'll be interesting to see what happens next.

Awesome start! I looove the suspence and you've got me hooked on this story :D

As far as I can see there's nothing wrong with your writing style, but then again - I have English as my second language too, so I may oversee a few grammatical errors... :)

Please update soon!

xoxo Ascha

Anyway, that was a good chapter. I like that you seem to have spent some time on the names in this story, and naming the horse was a nice touch. I think that Valeria is a water sprite. That sounds exactly like something a water sprite would do. They are inherently evil though, so if she is one, this should be interesting.

*sigh* I just wish Marak would kick her butt. The Kings are supposed to have incredibly powerful magic, matched only by other Kings. Maybe Valeria's a queen?

Nice start! It's interesting to see the goblins encounter a bride they can't completely overpower. I can't wait to see how all hell is going to break loose.

Wow, this looks cool. I wonder, is she an elf or something else?

Hmm, critiques... Well, the goblin King seems a little out of character, but that's the only problem I see, so far. By the way, your writing is very good, and that's coming from a grammar snob. There are plenty of people who grew up speaking English that write much worse than you do. You've got nothing to worry about in that regard.