hahaha this chapter was funny :D update soon :))

Good story it had funny moments but the one where she had their voices in her head I cried. Beautiful job

I am posting this as constructive criticism. This is not meant to be a flame.

As a whole, you have a strong basis for your plot and the flow of the story - something I give you major kudos for! Due to the immaturity of your writing, there are some things that do need to be developed.

not to rely on spell check. There were a few words spelled correctly, but used incorrectly grammatically. Also you lost your punctuation and capitalization toward the end.

For example:
'... She leads him down the street. Into a building and up the stairs before pulling a painted key from around his neck "you still paint your keys" she nodded slowly and opened the door leading him inside.'

It should have been written: '... She leads him down the street into a building and up the stairs, before pulling out a painted key from around her neck. "You still paint your keys," Sasuke said. She nodded slowly and opened the door inside.'

It just reads better. Except for a few tweaks, I actually enjoy your writing and I hope you keep up at it!

Aw... So nice... Wah, naruto died first? Gah!

Lol! Love it!

The story is good so keep it up ! :)

By the way,here's my story and if you have tme to ead and review I'd be thankful. :D

s/8224071/1/Bittersweet_love

-xoxo Aimii0

SasuSaku ! . Hehe,I love them ! Keep it up !

Btw,can you please review my story? I'd be grateful and I'll continue review your story too !

(School life/ Naruto couples )

s/8224071/1/Bittersweet_love

Now this was truly amazing. It's got to be my most favourite chapter so far. This is really something that I will carry with me a long time into the future. :)

i love how this didn't have a happy ending. it was just a downright tragedy, (i preferred the sadder ending to be honest, it evoked more emotions.)

i started crying when i read this, which was really odd because i usually don't let reading any stories like this get to me but i guess that when it gets really personal, you just can't help it right? A very touching one-shot.

wow, it's been a while since i reviewed these chapters. This one really did just bring tears to my eyes, and I'm glad that you've kept up with your one-shots. I must say that you've maintained an awesome standard throughout and though I'm only at chapter 7, I'm taking my time to savor your one shots. :) (How on earth did i not subscribe to this story when i reviewed it last time, i have no idea!)

Happy writing!

_ I like it. I'm on an amnesia themed craze right now, and this was the perfect one to read along with it. :)

In Christ,

Timber Wolf

Wonderful story! U should've made it a separate oneshot! U would have gotten so many reviews.

This is so sad! :'-( Bit it is extremely good. This is one of your best chapters. I love them all, but this one is superb.

In Christ,

Timber Wolf

I LOOOOOOOOVE this.

Thumbs up. Awsome writing