|Reviews for The new guy|
| Mr.Kokomo 10/6/12 . chapter 1
It's an okay start. I did find myself confused on the coming about of Yotoshi, in which you described that a human, god and demon all made the child. It is a very interesting take on the world however. A triple-breaded character is an interesting idea, and it makes for some really good scenarios.
The narration could use some improvement. It wasn't really descriptive of the situations and emotions that characters were feeling.
In your Authors note, you mentioned putting a bio for Yotoshi... Do me a favor and do not do that. It makes a character more interesting when people find out more about him as they go.
Just keep plugging and I'll see how you do.