You have some good ideas, but maybe you could write it in play format. With dialogue you seemd to be a little bit of everywhere. Other than that it was good. It's nice to read something new such as Kelso & Donna.

O.O

"We have bad news! Your parents were in car accident what? I am sorry but they died they were killed instantly! They were tears in his eyes, thanks anyway! No problem! Bye! Bye! Kelso burst out crying and he..."

that was weird, you'd have tought there'd be more details :S hm.

Whoa. That made no sense whatsoever.

Are you on crack? Seriously, was this automatic writing or is punctuation not necessary on your planet? Who says "Thanks anyway" when they find out their parents and girlfriend have died? By the way, "All of we are thanks!" is a secret code for what, exactly?

um, it's a pretty good story line, although the odds of something like that happening are very low, but it was hard to read

that was ok...it was kinda sad...try harder..it'll get better...