Wonderful!

what the fuck?

Like I said before, I think you should go to play format because with stories your dialogue is here and there. You always have really intense topics though that I've never read before though. Usually Kelso is cheating on Jackie, but here you have Jackie cheating on Kelso. Nice start.

is that it? *cries* no *runs into brick wall*

Wow. That made no sense. Learn English, please. And grammar.

This really needs better formatting. I got lost over and over again.

you really need to do something about this story. First of all, you don't utilize punctuation and quotation marks. A new paragraph should start everytime some new talks. The story was too quick, too unrealistic, and extremely hypocritical. You made Jackie look like the bad one when Kelso is the one that has always treated her like crap.

Umm, you really need to work on the story format. It's hard to read and understand who's saying what. Oh, and "You hurted me" doesnt sound right at all

I think the other reviewers were a little mean. The story has potential. You just need a beta reader. Someone to look over your story and fix up the punctuation/grammar etc. before you post.

I don't mean to sound rude, but how old are you? i don't mean that to offend you it's just you sound like you're in grade 4. there are no punctuations to clarify who's talking or anything. to be quit honest, it was hard to understand what was going on and it gave me a headache. i think that if you refined your idea and worked it out a bit more this could be a great story

THIS STORY WAS WAY TO QUICK AND HARD TO FOLLOW! i DONT THINK U SHOULD WRITE OR POST A FIC UNLESS PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOIN ON

This story and "Why Me" were very hard to read and they're only 500 and some words! Were are your quotation marks when people are talking? Have you heard of other punctuation besides the ! and ? There's no build up to anything that happens, the characters aren't true to the ones on the show, and you added people without introducing them properly first. Please practice your story writing.

I didnt read this but i just had to say, you wrote a LOT of stuff in one day.