hm... A story VERY simple. There is a potential, but you need a lot of work.

I liked read it, but it is because I love Hilde (and I hate with someone transform her in an horrible bloodthirst monster).

This story was... not depleasant. It is bad that you don't make more work for write it.

Note: 12/20 (I dont' know the american notation system. In france we note a work on 20 point).