more please :D

Thanks

So many questions! But now that I know it's still WIP, I'm ready to wait. Very sad, very beautiful. Looking forward to read the whole story:)

X0X0

Oh, I’m so glad I had the impulse today to read this again. It’s autumn where I live and somehow it made me think of your story. I just love the title. Old trees fascinate me, they’ve seen generations come and go, lived through storms and wars and just like Leah they still stand there beaten but alive. The banner fits the story perfectly.

As for the story itself, I really liked the version you posted on ADF but I love the one you posted here. There’s more dialogue and Leah seems to be more aware of her surroundings which makes it easier to relate to her and understand her a bit better. There’s only one mention of the fire and I guess it’s because that’s a topic that’s too hard for her talk or even think about. I think that the way you managed to get around this predicament by using the article (in the ADF version) was brilliant.

The first lines made me believe that this was a story about Bella, was that intentional from your side? Smart of you if it was since readers tend to sympathize more with Bella than with Leah, and once you’ve established that feeling of empathy you write the following line that make it clear that Bella is dead:

***"He understood the loss of a daughter in such a profound way that he swore if he was given the chance ever again, to do "right by her," he wouldn't take it lightly."***

I like the way you choose to split up the chapter, with heart wrenching but interesting snapshots of feelings, conversations and actions. I get the feeling that is the way Leah perceives the world and that it’s the only way for her to live through each day. Because she can’t deal with more feelings, more thoughts, more impressions so she only let herself be present for short moments.

Some phrases made me laugh despite (or maybe because) the fact that they’re so sad. Like this one:

***"He introduced himself to her—Clarke Marian, MD—and she introduced him to her favorite defense mechanisms: silence and bitch."***

I have so many questions after reading this, like how did she end up pregnant? How far along is she? How did the fire start and why didn’t Leah join the others?

The only thing bothering me is the fact that she’s obviously malnourished and pregnant and that is not a good combination, the fetus will not develop normally if there’s lack of essential substances like minerals, vitamins and proteins.

***“ Her eyes stared out into the dark room until they couldn't support the weight of solitude and misery and everything and closed. Depression tucked her in on her side before nesting into her and hugging her as she fell asleep, tear-stained, bloodshot, and shivering”***

Wow. You did an excellent job of describing a depressed person, the hopeless and lonesome feeling they have. You took me to that room, made me want to hug her and tell her that everything will be alright. You made me feel. Just like the rest of this chapter it was nothing short of great. Confusing? Yes, but nonetheless great.

Thank you for sharing. I’m looking forward to chapter two.

Felicia

Wow, a bit confusing, but intriguing. I don't understand the 10 years after Eclipse because it sounds to me that Edward left her... and he left in New Moon. I want to know more!

BTW - I found you via the Golden Lemon email I got today!

Oh, I loved this. Again, like Wicked Wind, it was beautifully written. You really nailed her emotions, and when her attention drifted off, I felt it. Well done!

So Bella is pregnant... this is certainly intriguing. I look forward to more :-)

Nayarit!

It's very rare in my life that I could wish for something and it really happens, the story will continue I'm really the happiest girl at this moment. So Thank you!

As for the story as you know I'm in love with this darkness, angst, excitement you always bring and once again thanks for sharing your creativity with us; I wish I could peek into your dreams at night, I'm sure they interesting.

You always know how to create such a diversity and difference in your charectures Bella is amazing her valnurability, sadness, lonelyness, pain, hurt, depression is so clearly written that you can fell the emptiness she feels. The pain Charlie goes through seeing his daughter go through such pain, is a true reflection of any parents love for they children.

"patient might be pregnant" did I read that right? You know how to keep us guessing and wondering you very good at it.( you got it I'm running different theories in my head as is)

As always can't wait for the next update

Your biggest fan

I did enjoy!

Glad to see you got another one coming out of that head of yours. I liked it. Now who's the daddy? Can't wait to figure it all out.