   A Darker Shade of Bright 11/28/02 . chapter 1I first read a story in this particular saga, "The Thing with Feathers," almost a year ago, and it completely slipped my mind to write a review about these wonderful fics.
Before I read it, I had read Harry Potter a year before and had barely begun to discover the world of fanfiction. Joining a message board, I started out with Sirius Black as my favorite character, then fell in love with Professor Lupin. Butting in to someone else's conversation one day, I realised that some people actually liked Professor Snape best of all the characters in the books. I was the kind of person who had believed Snape really was the one working for Voldemort while reading the first book- I was naive and lived in my own little world, expecting everything to turn out, um, as expected. When I found out that Alan Rickman was to play the part of Snape, it barely phased me beyond the realization that he was the physically perfect Snape, with the nose and all, and that, wasn't that that talented actor who was in Sense and Sensibility? (Colonel Brandon's character also managed to slip by me as one of no particular value in my youth, by the way.)
The more I learned of people's opinions of Snape, the more interested I became in him. Sifting through barely-worth-reading stories in one fanfiction archive one day, I began looking for anything with his name in the synopsis. Being familiar with the poem, "The Thing with Feathers," I decided to give this one a try- hoping it would be a breath of fresh air after a well-written but so unrealistic it was hardly entertaining story of Snape (in which he fell in love with Professor McGonagall, who in the story was the same age as he).
That day, my eyes glued to the computer screen, my heart practically in raptures, I fell in love with Professor Snape.
It marked the beginning of my all-out obsession with Harry Potter. I would stay at the computer all day, hours on end, racking up the internet bill, literally addicted. This was what I craved: the way Maude was able to tame Snape and make him take a good look at himself and realize that he was worth something; the way he made her feel, like she was the only one who could make him feel this way, and how frightening it must have been for her. And what I craved most of all was the way it made me feel. I was in love at the time, unrequited love. Reading this story at the time made me feel beautifully hopeless, a feeling I luxuriated in. There is no greater luxury than self-pity, after all. They were happy. I was not. But at the same time, they had gone through much unhappiness to reach this state of euphoria, and even then there were hardships in store for them. I read the first two installments during Christmas break. Then over summer, I read "If We Survive", and have just now finished the "Darkness and Light" saga. Come summer, that unrequited love had become a sense of emptiness and loss, as I realized that I would never see this person again, and even if I could see him and tell him that I had loved him he would never feel the same way. I waited- I was about to enter a new phase in life, with new people, new work, new sorrows, trials, successes, and triumph, much like Maud entering her job at the ministry. Then it all poured in on me. I've always loved learning, but suddenly this enormous wealth of information about life, people, men, women, children, how like children men and women can be, and how life really is but a stage, came up to me and threw itself in my face. The story made sense. Where before the love in the story symbolized something I could never have, or something that I would eternally search for perfection in, now the love between Maud Moody and Severus Snape was something I simply had not been looking for in the right place. I mentioned before that I had never really taken notice in Severus before. Now I find that he is foremost on my mind, every living minute. I think about my future, and there are thoughts of him. I speak out, and somehow the conversation always winds back to how wonderfully complex and difficult and elegant and handsome he is. Trapped between two men (in real life)- one of which two is happy and cute and energetic and makes me laugh, and has big brown puppy dog eyes; the other is moody and dark and grave and has deep, penetrating blue eyes that look at me as if searching for something, which I can't help wondering if it's the same thing I'm looking for-I find myself being drawn to the latter, where before reading these stories and expanding my sense of knowing what I need, I would have chosen the former.
In short, and with full knowledge that I sound like a riteous cheeseball, these stories have helped me to find myself, and to appreciate people for who they are, not for their physical, emotional, or psychological appearance. They are my favorite fanfictions so far, and I would recommend them to anyone. Not to mention the fact that, despite being very sexy, and showing that yes, the old greasebag is capable of physical love as well as spiritual and emotional, and getting me very worked up (the scene in the potions classroom in "The Thing with Feathers", with Snape trying to teach her how to write the Hebrew letter daleth in the potion, when he came up behind her, has been simultaneously the most beautiful, subtle, and affective scene featuring Snape in a position of sexual desire I have ever read- and I've both read and written a good many), it was still tastefully done. They waited until marriage to sleep together- how subtle can you get?, there were no explicit scenes or language, but still you could feel the tension, and you could imagine exactly what was happening, what they were feeling. Amazing. Unlike in other stories, where the authors feel it's necessary to shove hot pink Barbie rollerskates in your face and then proceed to glide down the street to the tune of Baby, One More Time- metaphorically speaking. No matter how steamy Pawn to Queen was, or how angsty some of the other stories I've read have been, sometimes you just need a fresh, clean love story. Read it. Good for the soul, this is.
Whew! Sorry I wrote a novel, but when I get started it's hard to stop. I hope the length of this review testifies the depth of my devotion to "Darkness and Light."
P.S. I also appreciated the Sherlock Holmes references. Holes is a demigod. |
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