|Reviews for Those in Darkness|
| 80sarcades 3/29/12 . chapter 5
Poor Hochstetter! Wastes all that time and comes up empty handed. Serves him right!
Loved the story, though I've never seen Phineas/Ferb (right now, my kids are on a Fairly Oddparents kick). Very entertaining, too, I went through the chapters before I knew it. The whole knight business was a nice touch as well.
Great work, ma'am!
| Goldleaf83 2/3/12 . chapter 5
What a charming story! I was a bit dubious about reading a crossover with a show I know nothing about, but you set it up so well that your readers don’t have to know Phineas and Ferb. It’s well paced and well structured: for example, you do such a nice job with the foreshadowing in Schultz’s pictures of his children in Chapter 1, paving the way for his moving plea to Hogan that tips the colonel’s decision in the last line Chapter 4.
Your portraits of all the canon HH characters were well done, and the minor characters were sharply delineated. The scenes of Hochstetter interrogating the guards were great. Schlausen was intriguing in his desire to fly and his relationship with Hogan, plus his innocence in answering. Great last line for him! And great reasoning from Doofenshmirtz on why he’s now a good German. I appreciated your tribute to Sophie Scholl, one of the great resisters of conscience in Nazi Germany, who deserves to be better known.
The story has so many nice little touches that add to characterization and make it a pleasure to read. A dozen favorites: 1. Hogan’s injury in Chapter 1. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the action of this story, but that’s part of what I like about it, that it’s there but not made much of, yet underscores Hogan’s characteristic physical posture. 2. Klink knowingly listening to forbidden music, and the neat reference to Otto Klemperer you build in there. 3. Hogan’s point on why the Allies will ultimately win, because the Nazi regime’s internal mistrust of its own citizens. 4. The parallel from Kinch’s family history. 5. Hogan’s anxious pacing that irritates everyone else (that’s just how I see him) as much as the dripping rain does. 6. Hogan’s expectation of support from London, because his chivalrous contacts there are royalists who will want to rescue a member of another royal house. 7. Newkirk’s funny lines on peace and pieces. 8. Newkirk’s response to being Hogan’s inspiration! 9. Using Bonnie Prince Charlie’s escape as the model for Prinz Fritz’s! 10. The knighting ceremony, with the little prince solving the loyalty issue. 11. Doofenshmirtz’s sacrifice, his family not knowing what happened to him—very touching. 12. Great notes at the end of all the chapters!
| Sgt. Moffitt 1/29/12 . chapter 5
I confess I was hesitant to read this story, mostly because what little I know of Phineas and Ferb (from YouTube) made it difficult for me to picture one of its characters in the HH universe. But once I got past that little obstacle...
I love the use of the fictional kingdom of Druseltein and its young prince! It makes sense that it would be annexed as Austria had, and that its prince would be in peril. I immediately thought of Queen Wilhelmina, and sure enough, you refer to her a little later on in the story. In fact, all of the historical references were apt (and interesting to boot).
Actually, Doofenshmirtz is quite an appealing guy...for a cartoon. Nice story, with a mission that's right up the Heroes' alley.
My only suggestions would be to avoid the use of abbreviations such as Cpl., Col., etc., and the use of the words "scene break" (maybe you could use a visual device such as the horizontal ruler instead) as I think these things are a little distracting.
| Sgt. Hakeswill 1/28/12 . chapter 5
I'm glad to see you bring this good story to a satisfying close.
A classic example of the old Hogan touch in how Fritz was brought into Stalag 13
Of course, Doofenshmirtz had to go with him, to help the little prince to better adjust to his exile.
I especially liked Schultz's question at the end, simply because it underscores what kind of a man he is; a man trying to survive the war as best he can, but he's not and never could be a Nazi.
| Jinzle 11/21/11 . chapter 4
Keeps getting better and better. Can't wait for the next chapter.
| Jinzle 11/21/11 . chapter 3
Wolfie using language unbecoming an officer and gentleman...
who'd of thunk it? :)
Excellent chapter. Can't wait to see exactly what Wolfie is up to.
| Jennaya 11/20/11 . chapter 4
Interesting developments and I think it was an excellent chapter. Schultz is a lot like Jack O'Neill, smarter than he lets on. He wouldn't do anything that might cause trouble for him or anyone in Barracks Two.
| Sgt. Hakeswill 11/17/11 . chapter 4
The plot thickens...
I have to think that Schultz is as much one of Hogan's Heroes as the rest of the men, albeit a passive. So it's logical to assume he'd not reveal that Hogan and his men were more than ordinary prisoners unless he knew he could trust the other man.
| Sgt. Hakeswill 11/17/11 . chapter 3
I notice you mention a Bonhoeffer. Is this a relative of THE Bonhoeffer?
| Sgt. Hakeswill 11/17/11 . chapter 2
These interviews all have the uncomfortable ring of truth to them. I went to high school with a girl whose mother grew up in Nazi Germany and I remember her telling us that membership in the Hitler Youth and BDM was compulsory.
As an aside, it seems as if Hochstetter doesn't have enough to keep himself busy with, if he's doing stuff like this.
| Sgt. Hakeswill 11/17/11 . chapter 1
I liked the exchange between Hogan and Schultz before Hochstetter turned up like a bad penny. It's nice to see Schultz as the doting father.
I immediately picked up on Otto Klemperer, knowing his story before reading it here. He lived long enough to see his son play Colonel Klink - I have to wonder what he thought about it.
And isn't the Threepenny Opera where the song "Mack the Knife" comes from, and that the real Lottie Lenya had something to do with it?
| Susan M. M 11/15/11 . chapter 4
CHAPTER 4: I am not entirely satisfied with this chapter, and would welcome constructive criticism. Danke.
| last1stnding 11/12/11 . chapter 3
Well, what a cliffhanger! Can't wait to see what happens next to change the situation.
| last1stnding 10/31/11 . chapter 2
This grows more interesting. Also, loved the definition of a party member. Very humorous.
| Jinzle 10/28/11 . chapter 2
An excellent, well written chapter but there is a problem. Hochstetter, being SS would never be address using the Herr title. It would simply be major. Secondly, those who belonged to the Wehrmacht were forbidden to join any political party including the Nazi party so the Major had no reason to hold this over Doofenschmirtz's head. (Remember Schultz is a social democrat and being a business person before the war, the military would have been a good refuge for someone like him.) Perhaps if the questioning were more of why he did not belong before joining, it would make better sense.
Anyway, as I said and excellent telling of a story. Can't wait for the next chapter.