Alright. First of all, this is definitely a crossover. I myself am writing a Battlefield/KFP crossover, with Blackburn from BF3. Second, clean it up. Grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc. I myself would be willing to do it for you. Third, develop the characters and relationships; introduce them properly. For the first chapter, I would say you need far more background of the plot and conflict. If you need anything, I am very interested in the story and would be willing to help. Perhaps read my story Two Worlds Collide: A Second Chance, to see how I approached a BF/KFP story. If you fix a couple things, you would have quite a good story on your hands. Need anything, just ask!

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I'm sorry, I'm skimming, but BAD COMPANY? DAFUQ! I'll probably actually read it now!