|Reviews for Unveiled|
| IronAmerica 8/23/12 . chapter 9
I know I haven't been reviewing this story, but I have been reading it. And it's good. You're missing a few words here and there, but it doesn't detract from the overall story.
My favorite part is the scene between Vince and his family. (Trip only has one P, though, not two.) Vince is definitely a good person, and it's nice to see that writers can stop yanking his chain. (Although given some of Max's statements, I have a feeling that isn't going to last long...)
Given the ending, it seems like you're setting up for a sequel. What's Max up to? Robbing banks? Robbing Fleming? Doing some completely illegal that's going to make Vince try to kill him? What is it? (Because you left a few plothooks loose just in case there, it seems.)
Only the one immediate issue of Trip's name there, as far as quibbles go. I hope you do write a sequel.
| Susan M. M 8/22/12 . chapter 9
No, Max doesn't do charity and he does have ulterior motives.
| wtchcool 8/22/12 . chapter 9
I'm glad that you did finish it!
Ruvi said it best. You ended it on a heartwarming note, leaving hope for the Faradays, even though Vince isn't going home to Dana and Trip yet. I also like your use of Orwell, and your incorporation of Max and Ruvi's ulterior motive for helping Vince. :)
Hope you'll permit me to point out a few quibbles: 1. You spelled Trip's nickname with an extra P a couple of times there. 2. In the first paragraph, it says "...as she to soak in the every ounce of this moment..." Perhaps you meant "as he soaked in every..." 3. You wrote "to let him why he's here" instead of "to let him know why he's here." 4. You have Dana saying "Now today, but one day." I think you meant "Not today..." 5. You wrote "threating" instead of "threatening."
Overall, great ending to the fic!
| The Red Fedora 2/16/12 . chapter 8
| Kirala Mouse 11/2/11 . chapter 7
Yay for telling Dana! Yay for Vince! Yay for Max being a self-centered hardnose! (Okay, so that last "yay" was more in a "good characterization" sense than a "he made the best possible decision" sense, but still yay.)
| The Red Fedora 11/2/11 . chapter 7
love this chapter:) great job with the description and with the reveal:)
| wtchcool 11/2/11 . chapter 7
Yay for Vince/Dana! :)
Nice chapter. Enjoyed the reveal scene.
| Susan M. M 11/2/11 . chapter 7
I wondered when/how Dana would learn the truth. I like her comparing it to a very long stake out. But Max ... not that Max is hard-hearted, but Vince said he owes Max for this. And Stingray would forget a favor owed before Max Malini did. Eagerly looking forward to the next chapter.
| wtchcool 10/25/11 . chapter 6
Oh, dear. Not what Vince needed after having that nightmare.
Sweet chapter. :)
I see you didn't finish correcting the chapter, though. In some places you fixed Trip's name, in others you didn't.
| The Red Fedora 10/25/11 . chapter 6
excellent:) though I think fanfiction got rid of your scene break
| IrishDancer 10/23/11 . chapter 5
Good Orwell chapter.
| The Red Fedora 10/23/11 . chapter 5
I love the line when Orwell says 'because he's your son' :) so true:)
| wtchcool 10/22/11 . chapter 5
Where would Vince be without Orwell watching his back? :)
| wtchcool 10/13/11 . chapter 4
Yes, the plot thickens! Although, bad news for Trip...
What happened? You spelled Trip's name correctly in chapter 3, and now the extra letter is cropping up again.
Still enjoying the story.
| Susan M. M 10/13/11 . chapter 4
Oh, boy, Tripp is in for it now. The shock of finding his father is alive, the bigger shock of learning his father is the Cape, and he's about to become a pawn in the Manselli family's attempt to prove they're tough enough to play with the big boys. Poor lad.