Really, drug him?

What a nice ending to this story. It's cute to see how close Trunks and Addy have become. I love how Trunks stutters when Addy mentions wanting to have a baby. They're just too adorable here. Amazing work with this story.

Very nice work with this chapter. It's kind of sad that she didn't get to go to the battlefield. Too bad she couldn't watch the entirety of the fight either. I don't know, but it would've been nice to see her reaction to Trunks actually being killed. Anyway you did a good job with showing her sorrow when she sees Trunks' dead body.

Good work showing Trunks and Addy's relationship in the future. It's sad to know that Addy in the normal timeline won't get to be with him, but at least the future version of herself will.

Good work with this chapter.

Aww, the two of them on a date. That's so cute. Who knew that Trunks wouldn't be able to win at carnival games. It's nice to see Trunks able to enjoy himself with a friend since he wasn't allowed to in his own timeline.

Nice job with having Addy take down those creeps. This is a nice way to show how much she dispises cruelty and stands up for the weaker ones. The details of the fight are nicely done.

Good work with this chapter.

Aww, how cute. Trunks is starting to like her and Addy is starting to trust people again. Good work showing some of her background then that detail about the portrait that contained her grandfather. Nice job showing her disdain for him.

One thing. When writing numbers (unless it's the time, date, or a character name like 16 and 18) you should always write the number out in a story. Ex: Instead of 15 minutes you should write fifteen minutes. It looks more professional that way.

Good work with this chapter.

Reading this chapter I'm beginning to think that you OC is a bit of a Mary sue (perfect in absolutely everything) but that's my opinion. You don't have to listen to me, I'm not trying to be mean. After all this is only the second chapter I'm reading. Does she have any cons, secret fear?

loved it but im sad it ended please hurry and write the next part

cute chapter.

Very nice chapter. Your OC fits well into the plot. Nice work with having Trunks reveal to A how he knows her. Now that he knows how alone she is, that could help further their relationship in the future. This chapter moves smoothly. Good work.

I'm still loving the story, i just think you need to write it a little bit better. It's so straight forward, and it needs to have some...well idk what you would call it. Something i would suggest is to not follow the show exactly. It's best to now what happens in the show, but change it up with your character. Don't worry about having it the same with all the other characters, cause if you do it just makes it boring. Everyone knows what happens in the show, when we read fanfic we want something different.

Fantastic chapter! You have a wonderful chase scene here, so much suspense. All the twists, such as Vegeta wanting so bad for Cell to absorb the androids adds more drama. The dialogue sounds authentic for the characters. There's lots of action. Amazing work with having 18 fight back when Cell is after her.

The part where Trunks shouts A's real name is unexpecting, but a wonderful addition to the plot. I'm looking forward to seeing more interactions from them as time goes on.

Good work with this chapter.

It's interesting that you chose to include Android A into the regular timeline as well. Will there be any difference with her character as there were with the other androids? So far she seems to still be the same good-hearted person. The look she gives Trunks is great.

I hope you'll allow her to do some fighting in future chapters because I'm curious to see how strong she is in comparison to the other characters. Just be careful that you don't make her too strong as the androids were made to be inferior to Cell.

Some advice I can give you for this chapter is elaboration. Instead of just summarizing the fight between 18 and Vegeta or 17 and Piccolo, write the scene out. It would be interesting to see A's perspective while she is watching the fight. Is she rooting for the Z fighters or the androids? Does she feel sympathy for Vegeta? You can even change up the fights a bit from the original if you wanted. It will make your story much more interesting to see the fights rather than just read that it happened in one sentence.

Also, the scene where 17 is threatening Piccolo would be a good place to add some drama. You summarized what each person said, but you could have turned that into actual dialogue.

Another tip, take your time. You've sped through two sagas here in one chapter. It's difficult to digest that all at once. If you want all this in one chapter it's better to make it a longer chapter and have an smoothly paced plot. Let the reader enjoy the story, don't make them rush through it. Also, if you build up enough suspense you'll leave the reader wanting more. You have a new character here that you can show the plot through in a different perspective, or whose presence can even change up the scenes.

You have a good idea here, I just feel that it would be better if you added more.

Good work with including that tragic scene from The History of Trunks in this story. So it seems that Android A managed to spare Trunks' life for the time being. Good work with this chapter.

NOOOO 18!

I LOVE IT! KEEP AT THE GOOD WORK! YOUR WRITTING IT AWESOME AS ALWAYS seriously im interested in the next chapter i really want a sneak peak (_)-excited face