|Reviews for Bats, Foxes, and a Hornet|
| Guest 11/25/12 . chapter 5
where is the end you have me hooked i love this story...more please
| William Morris 8/5/12 . chapter 1
Awesome. I'm a fan of all of these character's and to see their stories intertwined like this is really cool. Thank you.
| KG5133 7/20/12 . chapter 4
I really like your writing and storytelling styles. They match up very nicely with the styles of the Green Hornet and Batman shows of the '60s. And the characterization is awesome for an AU story.
| SilverHowler 1/31/12 . chapter 3
Another great chapter! Can't wait to see what'll happen next! :D
| Saphura 11/15/11 . chapter 3
Very interesting. Sounds like everyone wants to get a piece of Britt's father. You have a nice balance of seriousness, campiness, and tongue-in-cheek humor. Please continue!
| IcyWaters 10/16/11 . chapter 1
I was thrilled to read the summary to your story. Zorro, the Green Hornet and Batman are three of my favorite masked heroes. To see all of these characters entwine in an adventure is amazing. The connection with the Lone Ranger is icing on the cake. :-)
Barbara Gordon being a descendant of Don Diego de la Vega is a nice idea. It’s also interesting how Britt is unaware of his family history, making for a nice little twist.
As intriguing as this premise is, I admit to not finishing the first chapter. Lots of little things detracted from the overall mood and flow of the story. My biggest piece of advice is to find a good beta reader. This feels more like a rough draft than a final version. For example, you correctly wrote the surname ‘de la Vega’ in the opening scene and suddenly switched to ‘Del La Vega.’ Also, it’s Commissioner Gordon, not Commissar Gordon, unless Gotham is now located in the former USSR. :-)
When Juan calls Barbara, she said: "What are you doing in Century City? I thought you and Aunt Sophia would be in Hawaii by now!" – Juan never specifically said where he was, so how did Barbara know he was in Century City? Perhaps you meant to write: “What are you still doing in Century City?” (And is it Century City or Crescent City?)
Watch the contractions, too. "Can you place them in you're secret place?" – That should be your, not you’re. There are several instances of your/you’re mix-ups.
Also keep an eye on comma use. The introductory sentence threw me for a loop: Juan De La Vega, waited impatiently for Britt Reid to get off the phone, finally he hung up and said, "Mr. De La Vega, I know you have been managing my grandfather's estates for many years…"
The wording implies Juan is the one who hung up and spoke. Delete the first comma and separate this thought into two sentences: Juan de la Vega waited impatiently for Britt Reid to get off the phone. Finally, he hung up and said, “Mr. de la Vega, I know you have been managing my grandfather’s estates for many years…”
I don’t mean this to sound harsh. Quite the opposite. This story has great potential and I’d love to see it fully realized. Good luck!
| Saphura 10/6/11 . chapter 1
Oh, this is good! I'm glad you put it here. I hope you update soon!
| JanEyrEvanescence12 10/2/11 . chapter 1
Omg, you combined the big 3: Batman, Green Hornet and Zorro in one nice neat little bundle? And you've put the Lone Ranger in the mix? So totally cool! Ok, I will admit, it is a little camp (but hey we're talking about 1960's Batman here so you have a legitimate reason) but I like it. I can't wait to see how this'll turn out in the end. I also like bringing Barbara's family into this, we never really talked about her mother's family and it's neat that she's a descendent of the Fox. Very cool.