This is a really promising beginning

and i think your writing is also good,

so hope you continue.

WOW! you hav really improved on ur writing! I love it, although I was a bit confuzed wit h the metaphors, I got it in the end. he isn't gonna be dead at the end right? cos he went back in time and plus he looks like eddie, is that why you chose cedric? cos he is edward too? haha you go gurl! please write more!