i love this fic. i just hoped that this happened in the original story

This chapter seems to me to be trying really hard. I like the interplay but it just doesn't seem to come naturally, which in retrospect might be because the two characters know almost nothing about each other and have nearly nothing in common. I like the portrayal of swimming, and it carries in the same vein as last chapter with the over powered versions of the characters. The increase in power does not bother me as much now, but I definately like the consistency of the story so far. It flows together without contradiction, which shows the effort you put into this. Overall, good job. Except for Katara being an emotional wreck 24/7 which is really believable but just annoying about the character.

So, this chapter had some surprises for us. It was enjoyable but raised a bit of a problem. Zuko developing lightning was something that I always wanted to happen but if memory serves, never did. I didn't like him being okay with killing Ty Lee. He had grown up with her and he's not quite this callous in my opinion but I digress. Katara's reaction was spot on, and executed well. The death scene of Ty Lee might have been overly gratuitious with the description and not medically accurate which breaks the suspension of disbelief. Also the healing of Katara is magnified by a thousandfold than in the series where it needed constant reapplications to be effective. Some geography would have enhanced the chapter, having a place nearby to swim to or having a destination in mind would also have been great. Overall good form and good intent, but not so good with the execution, still an enjoyable read.

I like how you handle the interplay between the characters, its very IC and in keeping with the established relationships as set out in the series. One major thing that bothered me here was the dialogue. It seemed very forced, and it was almost like you had to force the words to come out of the character's mouth. I'm sure this will get better in the future of this fiction because as a fellow writer I understand how hard it is to nail down the intricacies of interactions between characters in a new piece. Other than that no criticisms. I do like the diplomacy tactic that Azula envisions, not because its her style (because its definately not her style) but because it seems like something she might do just to cause Katara psychological pain before ending her. Good job.

Did you by any chance combine Twilight and Harry Potter "I love you"s? "unconditionally...irrevocably" and "always"?

I know you're all done with this story already but I just wanted to let you know that I'm really enjoying reading it and I can't wait to read more of it. Thank you for keeping it out so others can read.

yesw

I'm already drooling all over your story.. :) :) it's so well written and awesome !

Great cliffhanger. Amazing story

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE THAT AANG IS STILL ALIVE! I'M SO HAPPY I HAD A DIFFUCLT TIME WRITING THIS SENTENCE!

I knew Aang was alive! I was really confused when Toph woke from her trip to the spirit world without telling everone that Aang is still alive.. I nearly started to believe I misunderstood.

I'm quite pleased with the story so far but if I didnt knew there was another story following this one I would totally start like 'whats happening afterwardssss?'

I am really really twisted about how I feel about your story... On the one hand its a great adventure story and the way things turned out with Ty Lee and lots of other things are awesome but on the other hand the Zutara stuff lacks in everything I love about them. All the passion and these electrifying feelings between them are absent. I noticed this all the way through the story, but the lemon part just sealed what I was already thinking. It was very rushed and somehow emotionless, it felt like you really didnt like writing it.
But aside from the Zutara aspect I really enjoyed your story so far and I'll continue reading right after posting this comment(:

xx

Loved this chapter, but couldn't help but notice that ever though he said 'I love you' (repeatedly)... She never said it back...
that makes me kinda sad/worried.

:OOOOOOOOO AANGS ALIVE ! AHHHHH WWATTTTT

omg Zuko is too romantic for life