You know, this story kind of reminds me of the season 3 finale of Doctor Who (the new series, not the old), except I get the distinct impression that there will be no reset buttons here as there were there. To be perfectly honest, I hope there won't be a reset button. To do that would be... It would just be unforgivable.
I don't have a hard time believing that this would be what the world would be like if Madara (Tobi now, I guess, but Madara in the context of your story) was ever able to enact Tsuki no Me. The whole situation is genuinely terrifying, taking something we normally take for granted-being able to look up at the sky without caution-and making it the most dangerous thing you could possibly do.
As usual, the sheer amount of attention you pay to detail is astounding. I never have a hard time imagining the surroundings, the sort of world the characters live in when I read your stories.
Temari and Itachi are both characterized brilliantly; I really don't know what else to say, except that they are. Maru is an interesting addition as well, even if he is a baby (I'll admit that I don't usually like "infant" characters). I wonder what would happen, though, if he was to look up at the sky and catch a glimpse of the enchanted moon; I don't think that would end very well. After what happened to Kankuro, I can't say I have much hope that Gaara escaped the purge unscathed, even if he is very powerful, but I suppose it's possible. I get the feeling though, that if Temari does find Gaara, it either won't be good, or it will but it won't stay good for very long.
Good luck with the next chapter; I hope you don't get writer's block too bad.
The spectrum of dark fics on Naruto basically range from the annoying pseudo horror ones to the exceptionally morbid and complex. For the first time I've been on this site, there has been one, and only one, story that I'd held as a pinnacle of dark fics. You, my god/goddess (since you have no mention of your gender anywhere), have replaced that with this story.
I can blabber and go into how you detail your work, the way the chapter flows, but obviously you know that you do your work well. What I LOVE though, is the tension, something that most dark fic authors constant favorite to allude to but fail to execute. It's just plain horrifying to sit there reading and waiting and just having to take in what was happening. You have taken that to a different level for me. How? I read half your last chapter at work. I'm letting my stats drop to serious levels just to finish it paragraph by paragraph because I can't. Fucking. Stand. To not know what's next. Seriously.
Haven't kept up to date with the manga, because needless to say, Kishimoto is a dick in reviving a lot of his filler characters. That killed his emotional style right there, and I haven't gotten the feel to continue reading since then, so I've kept up only through snatches of conversation about what's happening.
Your Temari is, as with your other fics with her, priceless. The depth you've given her makes her astounding, to say the least, given that she's a background character in the series. I am in awe as well to the fact that you are able to write seamlessly "general" fics that don't deal with romance at any rate, or the tiniest if ever. Pure, unabashed shounen, fanfiction version. (As a side note, I believe I've never read something of yours yet that is geared for full on romance. Hmm...)
The fact that you only use 3 characters is a testament to how much blood, sweat and tears you put into the details. The sheer length of a chapter and with how descriptive your writing is makes it worth every second of waiting for the next chapter. You know. As long as it doesn't take a year. Because by then I would have died from anticipation.
I could just GLOMP you if I could. Hurr!
You make me wonder how you could pull this whole shiznit off. Man. Madara is an ass, just saying. I'll take a blind stab and guess that Sasuke is still somewhere out there, and Naruto as well (what with Kushina not dying when the Kyuubi was ripped out of her). You're turning my mind into mush. :"D
No apologies for the long review. Here to always read more!
I'm going to premise this long ass thing by remarking on my waning interest in fanfiction, not because I've lost interest in anime, fanfiction itself, and other degrading nerdy hobbies, but simply because the vast majority of the stories you find are just downright garbage. To that end, its a freedom of expression and if you want to write a dozen shitty stories that clog the site pages, you can go ahead and fucking do so. However, it doesn't change the fact it's a blower, and has kept me somewhat inspirationless and marginally exasperated with life without the cornerstone of fanfiction to prop me up.
So I can't say its coincidence that I somehow, miraculously, BLINDINGLY stumbled onto this story of yours.
This is just way, way too fucking kick ass. Not only is it superbly written, the plot is awesome, but the very idea of an anarchist/battered world full of zombies-very orignal with the Moon Plan, by the way-is just so morbidly alluring to me. that, and how Itachi is a total swag version of the main guy from Trigun combined with the main guy from Gungrave splashed with that whole 'thoughtful and honorable" thing Jin from Samurai Champloo has going on.
So pretty much, Itachi is just too fucking cool, which is somewhat usual, but coupled with the fact that he is immensely powerful, yet all his abilities are entirely conceivable and actually realistic considering the AU of the story and the original manga makes him even more cool than he generally is.
That, and Temari is actually alright. Generally I assume most leading role females are somewhat whiny, presumptuous and weak. Of course, anyone in comparison to Itachi is going to come off as a little bit less useful, but that has more to do with Kishimoto and less to do with your story. Maru grated on me at first, if only because he's well, a baby, and is obnoxious at the most inopportune of times, but now I find him tolerable.
Moral of the review; you're writing is frank and brutally candid, never overly simplified nor overly dramatic, the plot is clear without being transparent, an unceasing glimmer of hope somehow lingering throughout all three-angst ridden (but not depressing) chapters, and there is a very good god damn reason this is labeled 'Suspense'. It is very suspenseful, and I really wish you'd update it soon.
Whoa, I need to take a step back and fully allow the gravity of this fic to sink in. I doubt there are even words to describe it. The overwhelming feeling of despair and utter loss you have created is palpable enough to make me depressed over their situation. I can literally feel Temari's (who, as always, you have written in perfect character) options being cut off at all ends. It is such a bleak outlook for the entirety of the lot. I imagine the struggle will become more dire as their food stocks dwindle.
The way Itachi's portrayed reminds me of the cat from Pet Sematary. I absolutely love how Temari is repulsed just by touching him. Although, I must admit I had an "awww" moment (however small) by imagining him acting with a paternal instinct. It's a bit of a refreshing break from the serious atmosphere.
You're doing an awesome job. I don't think I can ever read anything involving Temari, Hidan or Itachi written by someone other than you. Seriously, this may be AU, but it could serve as canon as far as I'm concerned. I love how everyone is in character perfectly. You have given me something to look forward to reading.
Okay, I just cried. Up til this chapter, I was praying so hard that nothing would happen to both of Temari's siblings. I refused to believe it was him til you mentioned puppet. God,It was so painful not knowing who'd they find as tainted next n when I did find out...it was heartbreaking.I think I officially hate Madara ,the point is, your writing is as brilliant as always and it felt so real...thank you
I absolutely love, love, love, LOVE this fanfic! The atmosphere you've created here is just perfect. I don't know how you did it, but I can literally feel the loneliness and danger that Temari is experiencing just by reading your description of the barren landscape. When I read most other fics and come across large sections of pure description and zero dialogue, I either skim through it, or end up rereading it several times to grasp the atmosphere they're trying to portray. Yours came effortlessly and I actually /wanted/ to read it.
Temari and Itachi are 100% in character. I like how you've managed to have them say so much through so few words and enjoy it whenever we get to see them converse (even when it's just a battle strategy). Whenever they're together, I get the notion that this really is how a conversation would go down between them. I'm so happy that you managed to keep Temari the total badass that she is, but in a way that's... subdued enough not to make me think it's overdone. Same for Itachi. His air is perfect.
When you first brought in Maru (; I keep thinking of Shikamaru)I was worried about Temari for one. How was she going to manage with this new 'burden'? I was kind of frustrated. But then I read how he made her feel 'secure', and I understood. Itachi's relation with Maru has him reminiscing about Sasuke when he was little, I'm thinking. Throughout, I was looking for how this new addition might change personalities, but you kept them awesome. Not that I expected different. PSH.
Your descriptions of the 'tainted' leave me unsettled and a little sad. When Temari encountered Kankuro (Sasori? ...I agree with Dezaria, it wasn't quite clear...), my heart just...died.
Also, I'm really impressed with your combat scenes. I know they can be difficult (even boring) to write, but I wanted to let you know that they definitely payed off. The action is very coordinated; I'm not getting lost. For once, I know where every hand, foot, and kunai is. One of my favorite scenes in your story is when Itachi and Temari are sparring in the dark. Not a lot of people can keep fight scenes interesting, so...kudos. ;)
So, this was me, trying to put into words how awesome this fic is (I wasn't even close). Please continue to write and push past that terrible writer's block! I don't know if I could bear it if this became abandoned. I read it all last night and I was thinking about during my classes today, haha. Don't leave me hanging...and right when they're beginning to connect!
-SMB
P.S. Your chapters are very long (which I have no qualm with :P). Maybe you could break them down a little to update more frequently? Whatever works best for you.
This fic is pretty amazing. I've never read a post-apocalyptic fic in this fandom before, but I think you've done it really, really well. This is something that could happen if Naruto and co. failed, and I love the utter bleakness that's resonant in the fic. And this last chapter, with Temari encountering Kankuro, oh. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!
Wow. this is just...really great. I like the mystery surrounding exactly what went wrong. And the heartbreaking notion of finding Kankuro yet discovering that he was one of the tainted...
This is just very well written overall, and I definitely can't wait to read more.
I always try to leave a coherent review but I this time just can't
I am so very emotional right now... I love this story so, so much, it is so heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching and oh my goodness I cannot even FORM THE WORDS
and Kankuro holy mother of god why
I am dreading, DREADING a tragic ending to this, and I have to ask you to please refrain because if this ends badly for these characters that you have scoured into my heart I will simply be unable to cope and will have to lay down and die on the spot
Another great chapter to another great story, as always.
I'm really anticipating this story, you know, I can't wait to see where you're gonna go with it. The situation you've painted here is so unique, and the characters are really powerful-and I don't mean just in a fighting sense. It's sort of like the walking dead-they're faced against all odds but still PEOPLE, and they have to do what they have to do.
I almost cried at the Kankuro part. :(
If the Red moon is a mass genjutsu...can't Itachi counter it? He's already prooved that he can change someone's memories and states of mind with Maru...couldn't he have tried with Kankuro? I think Temari would have been desperate to have him at least make the effort. I understand that there were more important things going on. Being ambushed, she was out of her mind, Maru, getting to safety...just saying.
Ah... I'm shutting up now! :D Im just sad that one of my favorite characters is a not-zombie.
The scene where the corpse grabs Itachi's cloak and screams is terrifying and I was very disturbed. Great job on that. I wondered why Itachi was so surprised when it happened, since he's probably seen worse, but of course it's explained soon after when we realize what that scream meant.
The Itachi and Temari interactions are golden gems of hope that shine light in this dark world. I love every second they're together, even when she's trying to hurt him. I was also touched by the interactions between them and Maru, after the genjutsu thing. It makes me wonder how, if this story gets a happy-happy ending, they'll deal with the hey-son-actually-your-love-for-us-is-illusory part. Maybe?
The switch to Itachi's POV when she's fighting her brother was a great way of showing how disturbed she was. Also, it probably felt all too familiar to Itachi, fighting one's sibling, so that's another great incorporation.
I'm just overloaded with so many things from this story right now. I'll bask in the awesomeness of your story so far, and wait for the next chapter. It's probably a good thing you take time between updates. It gives us readers a sensory break.
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