this is so beautiful, really, so beautiful that I had to say it. congratulations and please keep writing that this made my day a whole lot less crappy. thank you!

"as a child I'd believed the stories about how she would put curses on people." - I am a grownup when I first saw her, and I still believe it of that matriarch.
"Dracul had taken me there a few times when the old hag was out gathering herbs for her potions or whatever the hell she did." - I can totally believe she could make potions to hex people.

sad story, full of hope, perfect balance there
love your POV

there's definitely more than one good-looking guy with blue eyes on the team ;-)
but with the 'tall' i'd go for deeks ;-)

Wow. I don't quite know how to review this. I loved this, though it was incredibly sad and heartbreaking. And this last chapter especially is going to stay in my head awhile. Was that a bit more T.S. Eliot hidden in there as well? I love some of the poetry you've included :) Anyway, beautiful story, it's absolutely a new favorite of mine now. I love NCIS: Los Angeles, and I write fan fic, but I'm still new to the fandom and haven't done any for this show. When and if I tackle the NCIS:LA team in fiction, I hope I could capture their characters half as well as you do. Thanks again for sharing this!

This narrator, Nadia, that you've created it really a neat character. I like her and really enjoy the way that she is unraveling the story. Some of the things she remembers in this chapter just seem especially well-written, for example: "Did I tell you how much I love American accents? All soft and drawling, it's like they're brought up sipping honey. His voice made me feel all warm inside." Being American, I don't think the way Americans talk is all that special, but it was an interesting line and I could see that someone from somewhere else may hear it differently. I've always loved other countries' accents too, so I suppose it's sort of the same thing. :)

I loved the Robert Frost quote and the chapter all together. I'm off to go read chapter three...

I like both how you started this off - what details you've given and what you've left in the air - it keeps the reader guessing and trying to think ahead and figure out. I like where you cut the chapter off too; it definitely left me wanting to go right on reading. It's a clever way to set things up, because reading it, I know who the four Americans are and why they're there, but I'm still curious, because I"m wondering who the narrator is and how she will get involved. Really nice start!

Great job on your writing even if you killed Deeks! It was written so well, I couldn't tell if it was Callen or Deeks in the fair hair comment!

Wonderful story!

Perfect.

Beautiful, poignant and lyrical. Even if you did kill Deeks, he died a great death!

Just incredibly powerful writing. Love the different perspective. You've set the standard here.

SO Ijust read the whole story and it's brilliant!

But I can't figure out who's the man - Deeks or Callen?

At first it seems like it's Callen but then you wrote " (...)his fair hair spread out like a halo on the pillow." and "(...) the older man put his arm around her(...)" so it must be Deeks right? 'Cause Callen does have enough hair to do that and he's considered the "old one" xD

Great story.

ACndCA

Amazing writing. You make me feel I am right there with them.

Just found this and I'm hooked...

I just cried my eyes out. Not sure how I missed the first two chapters. In a way I'm glad because reading the whole story just made it all the more heartbreaking. A true masterpiece, thank you.

I love your introspectives! It totally makes sense they'd get some intelligence. I think I can guess who the man is!