Not bad. I really enjoyed this and I hope to see you continue when you have the time. You keep intrigue by leaving us in the dark as to what this mystery could be, and I'm glad you didn't make it full of non-canonical romance shenanigans. Just things that seem real towards their personalities. Keep up the good work!

Ahhhh Santiago's dreams, what do they mean?! xD

Interesting backstory for Santiago! I'm a bit confused about how old he was in his dream, though. Still, another great chapter - keep it up!

I thought the Lord's Prayer in Spanish was cool. It reminds me of my family, as we both say the Lord's Prayer (in English) every night and also have a tradition of saying "I love you" in a bunch of different languages. Really irrelevant but whatev xD

Sorry for taking so long to write this!

Hmm, the plot thickens! I still have no idea what's going on, which is probably a good thing, considering this story's mysterious nature. Still, I can't wait for the moment when you bring together all the loose and seemingly unrelated ends!

An enjoyable read, as always. But I still hve the usual complaint - there are many little errors such as missing commas and forgetting past tense and the like. None inhibit from reading, but all the same, a beta reader should probably be considered. If you want to, contact me about it! I'm not an official beta reader yet, but I could likely beome one. I would be honored to proofread - not to mention, I'd get to read chapters before anyone else! But obviously the decision is yours.

Santiago's weird dream mash-ups are the most interesting part of this story. :) I am enjoying it so far, but perhaps you might want to review some of the chapters again? There are some typos; not many, but just enough to be a teensy bit obvious.

Anyway, do continue! :)

Aw. That kinda made me sad, but Joni and Santiago "If your parents found us" That would have been so funny :') Anyway, keep writing. I'm LOVING this so so so much!

You're on a roll! Keep it up! Looking forward to more chapters. I really love the detail and depth to your story.

I remember playing Cluefinders, growing up. It's a great game. wish they could make a movie and a TV shoe of the game series.

Okay. This is getting intense. I also adored the part with Joni and Santiago dancing together. It was so well written I could see it so clearly in my head. Nice job! Keep going with this!

Interesting premise. Hope you continue! :)

Also, Santiago seems to have a thing for the female ClueFinders? XD

Wow, that was very well written - it put me right in the action. I really don't know where this story is headed, and right now it seems strange, but it'll be really cool if you can bring it all together!

The grammar wasn't perfect. I don't think you use commas nearly enough - for example, I would say "Are you sure, Leslie?" instead of "Are you sure Leslie?" and "Santiago, you saved me" instead of "Santiago you saved me." It really does make it "sound better" in your mind when you add a comma where there would be a pause in speech.

Like I said, though, this was a very well-written, interesting and exciting chapter! I'm super happy that you haven't abandoned this story. Keep writing, kidatheart20! :)

oh my gosh, you updated! haven't read in a long time! im so happy. loved the new chapter.) awesome job!

Are you going to update soon?) i really want to see how this ends.

love it, you have to continue

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I liked the sign-in screen reference too! XD

Ugh, I'm sorry if my previous review was too harsh. I really like it and am looking forward to the next chapter!

First of all, let me thoroughly thank you for writing a ClueFinders story. The world needs more ClueFinders stories. I also want to thank you for writing a K-rated story (especially since ClueFinders is, y'know, a kids' series).

So far, I am very intrigued by your story. The plotline seems unique and interesting so far, and I'm quite interested in finding out what happens next. I hope you write another chapter soon!

You had a few grammar/spelling errors, but nothing major; mostly just missing commas. I wouldn't sweat it, but it would be nice if you could get a Beta Reader and/or a real-life proofreader.

Your portrayal of the characters also seems pretty good. However, one thing I found a little unbelievable is in Chapter 3 - when Joni mentioned Morse Code, her friends gave her "puzzled looks", which would presumably include Leslie! (Speaking of morse code, you mispelled it as "Morris code" a few times.)

I have to wonder, was Santiago's beach dream an unneeded (though interesting and nice!) tangeant, or does it have some deeper purpose? I'll withold judgment because it might very well turn out to be more important later on (and it WAS quite interesting and well-written).

I found it pretty weird that the ClueFinders had no problem blaming the U.S. government...I guess I just never thought of them as trusting it so little.

There are lots of little things in this story that I would do differently, but don't get me wrong! This story is really VERY intriguing. I wonder what happened to Santiago? Why would the government do this? Or DID the government do this? I hope this isn't something preachy about the government disrespecting the environment. Anyway, I'll definitely be keeping up with this story. Despite my nitpicking, I really do like it! It has so many unique, intriguing elements that I trust will only get more interesting with time.

Thanks for writin',

StoryMaker