 Kerro Starbane 8/11/03 . chapter 1 I'm an author in the A/M section, and i must comment that your portrail of Alex, Grinder, Fidget and Rikki was very good, if slightly off.
Dr. X, Asnazi (Asazi, fellow authors like to make fun of her name) and Brandon was pretty good, and i have no objections there.
But... My major pet peeve is that i have no clue who any of teh Cybersix characters are, simply because i don't think it was ever shown in my area. But Grinder helping Cybersix with her delemia was exactly like his character, though he tries to not make the person feel guilty. And then, he isn't as careless, or curious, to leave the vincity of Big Air... unless he really had too... which in this case, his curiousity got the better of him, thus getting him in trouble. Still cool.
I liked this fic, even though i was severly debating on whether to post a reveiw. Try and work on more description, less dialog.
my biggest peeve is i like to see 75% description, and 25% dialog. but you write with your own style, and i'm not fualting you for that. Keep up the good work, and please, continue writing. |