|Reviews for Hyrule Origins|
| Laura 10/18/11 . chapter 3
I always appreciate a story with a lot if thought and detail in it. Done may find it an odd thing to look for, but I especially appreciate when authors bother with small things like street names, etc. I myself an working on a Zelda fan fic that relies heavily on origin myths and other historical tales, so I enjoy reading your take on things.
The one thing I was a little confused on was the mother and daughter in chapter three. Maybe it's just me, but I was confused who was the mother of the baby and who was the grandmother. Using their names would be helpful, rather than "the mother" as both are mothers.
| Arvidius 10/16/11 . chapter 1
It’s a very compelling creation story. I thought I detected influences from the Silmarillion in both your organization off the divines, as well as your use of language. I am aware that this was written more for historical overview rather than for narrative purposes, but I wish that the character of these divines could have been fleshed out a bit more. Some of them felt simply like names more than real beings, but again, given your intended scope that’s not a problem. The only substantive issue I had with it was your last paragraph beginning with: “this fanfic.” This was a wonderful story with a great in-universe feel to it, and when I see “this fanfic” then the magic is gone. The suspension of disbelief fades. I would recommend that you place that in an author’s note rather than include it in the main body of your text. That issue aside, well done.