There are only two things I can think of for improvement. First, the grammar. For example, "he feel," when I believe you meant "he felt," or "he feels." Secondly, while I do enjoy considerably long sex scenes, I don't like them when they're too long and drawn out. (But this is simply my personal opinion.)
Also, to surprise the reader when Facilier shows Gackt the newspaper, I would've kept the scene where Facilier transforms into Gackt out. So then I believe it's a considerable sharp turn in events, because he is trapped. But I don't think that changes much.
Onto the things I would like to compliment specifically, I enjoyed the long, detailed description when Lucinda is introduced, from where Facilier had met him to why he was in the basement in the first place. I also really liked the changing of Gackt's name in the text to his new name shortly after he's given it. I think it adds on to how he gives completely.

I quite enjoyed it. I will probably be re-reading it again soon.

ALL OFF MY YES

It was well written, but its lacked alot of detail in terms of the environment. It could have used more descriptive languge in that way! Also, i dont really see how gackt could have just Fallin in love like that, again during the BDSM scene, and i was sort of hoping that he was trying to trick falicier into trusting him, so he could escape or kill him. But over all it was a wondeful story! Great job with the description of the sex scenes, and the description of the characters was perfect!

Great Job ! Even I am straight, I still enjoy reading Yaoi ! And, a surprise ! I have a perfectly matching pic for this story ! Here: .

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

make it a movie

So awesomely great!

liked and loved it.
was still alittle question of how time didnt pass of utsukushi accepting his new lifstyle
but still it was great.

Man this story alone is a f%#ing chronicle coulnd't stop reading from 21:25 till 22:00 i mean almost an hour and reading it on my DSi is no picnic but keep up the good work *thumbs up* -

This story is pretty good, im new here so dont take my criticism the wrong way, I cummed at least twice while reading this lol. Im also looking for a partnership so plz right me back if you wanna be partners...

I constantly complement you on your work, but this one was just simply amazing. I love your work! :DDD I go to sleep reading your stories in hopes that I'll dream them as I saw them in my mind. Beautiful story, lovely details, astonishing plot, and it kept me reading for about a good hour! :DD I cannot wait till' tomorrow night! It's 12:53 am right now and I have to get ready for school at 6 / can't... stop... now... No internet connections at school! DD: Thank you so much for this outstanding piece! It was absolutely wonderful! -

The story was okay, but the grammar is lacking. I can understand if you're not English, though, and if you weren't it was a fantastic yiff. The story was lacking, but most people don't come here for those.

That was really good

great but couldnt you have left out the embarrasing parts?

At first it seemed like a good story because, 1: it had pretty much the best villain ever, I despise everything that he's done which is good for a villain. 2: original character names. 3: it actually had a story line and plot which is different from other lemons. 4: it has a lesson (just because you have been a fan of him/her you shouldn't say you'll do ANYTHING for them), but when I got close to the end of the story I noticed there was no happy ending (THE VILLIAN WINS!?) i got so mad I cursed like the angry video game nerd from youtube. My overall review: this story sucks BALLS just because it doesn't have a happy ending. But if there was a happy ending it would be the best story I've ever read.