wow, it's pretty good ^^ well written

Ooh, very nice. You should write what happens to her! Does she stay with the Dark Angel? Or does she hate him for what he did? I gotta' know! Pweeze?

Interesting, i think you should continue

Yeah, deios was right; it does feel really good. Some mortals get bitten just to feel the Embrace. It's like a really big rush of ecstacy, which is why not many get away from the Embrace of a Vampire

Fascinating. Truly fascinating. He was a Ravnos, wasn't he? Your work is quite good. Sometimes I lose myself in the action sequences of my stories and falter in the descriptive aspects of my writing.

I like the characters, I like the premise but get your facts streight before writing the story. The Embrace dosn't hurt It feels REEEEEALY GOOD! By the way what clan are you from? Write me if you have time.
Ja ne

Hmm...this was interesting, if a little confusing. Good job