Wow, liked this a lot! Poor Hikaru, though! I think you showed off his character pretty well, I liked it! Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more!

-Aurora

I like this! You're horribly cruel to your characters, though. You're worse than me... I want to know what's going to happen. But you should write more Dragon Marked first!

I liked it!

Well written, although it was short.

You developed the characters well, especially considering one was half-dead. You got Hikaru's character across well, with just simple mannerisms.

keep it up!

-Aurora