This grammar can destroy North Korea.

There was a lot of errors, but I can say that it was really great.

Whoever wrote this, the grammar is horrible.

I'm sorry but the grammar is terrible. I gave up reading after a quarter of the story, prob less.

fear: ni sama kan sm yg . Jd gw ga prlu ripiw lg ok. ;)

for Eliya: are you sure u know what i'm talking about? O'boy. U got it absolutely wrong. I used my dialect, r u sure google can translate it?

Much appreciated, this translation is much more smoother than the algorithmic alternative. Really, there's no need to point out the grammatical tense problems.

The entire story seemed to revolve around a conversation between the audience and Kirino; breaking the fourth wall, to put it in terms. At least it felt like such in the beginning. You shouldn't rely so strongly on that because it's very assumptive to what we may be thinking, which tends to be wrong. Plus the potential to confuse us is rather high.

The one thing I enjoyed was your intention to withhold Kirino's feelings from Kyousuke through thoughts. Really keeps the awkward distance between them like the original series.

Honestly, I feel like this needs more content or will need more content if you continue it; everything resolved so early by the time I got towards the end. More interaction with other characters would be nice as well.

Also, before I forget, ricchan: for the sake of dugongs? Really? Who goes around saying something like that? To assume we are Caucasians, you sure are proving how blindly judgmental your culture is...