 Karen 4/11/00 . chapter 1 First of all, you need work on sentence structure. There are some pretty poorly organized sentences. Second, send it through a spell check. Third, proof-read it. There are several points where you missed words such as "in." For example, the sentence "I was standing A Bureau room" doesn't make a lot of sense. As far as I can figure out, either you were trying to say "I was standing in a bureau room" or "I was standing in the A Bureau room" whereas A Bureau is the name of a particular room. There are frequent errors like this one throughout the text, and these typically are an indication of a draft rather than a finished product (i.e. you didn't care enough to do a complete proof-reading of the work). |