|Reviews for Returner|
| mukirome 1/28/12 . chapter 1
I haven't played Ar tonelico 3, so I can't really comment if they are in character or anything. Cocona and Cloche, on the other hand, were very in character. I enjoyed the way you envisioned what had occured in Metafalss after the events of AT2. Thank you for writing such a nice, sweet fic.
| Mr. Lee 1/7/12 . chapter 1
Hello Dusk-03. I checked out your little story here. Although it's short, it's a pretty nice start if you're planning for a two or three shot. I was always hoping someone would make a story like this since 2 and 3 (Qoga) are so intertwined story wise. Just a couple minor things to point out.
1. One of the AT3 reyvateil names is incorrect. It's Finnel.
2. I understand keeping the relationships neutral for AT1 (If you played it or have knowledge of it, you know what I mean.), but will that be the case for AT2, especially since the Jacqli ending route (The MOST popular and best ending in the game.) not only flows well with your story (Cloche and Luca living together, Croix and Jacqli being together and going to Sol Ciel, though Jacqli did say she would like to live with Croix in his house at some time.), but with the Ar Tonelico storyline overall (They pretty much forced you to choose one.)? I hope that this is the case, especially with Cocona's connections to the three reyvateils.
Cocona and Cloche are very good friends (And Gergo fans too LOL XD.), and the same can be said for Jacqli due to their mutual respect for one another and their connections/feelings to Croix.
However, Cocona and Luca have a VERY strained relationship due to what Luca said and did to Croix in the Grand Bell dungeon, and can hardly be called friends. Even Luca's relationship with Croix was irreparably damaged despite Croix taking the high road and somewhat forgiving her for her sins (The fact that you mentioned that Luca had no pictures with Croix alone is a prime example of this and makes me glad you didn't ignore it.). Some things of the past are never forgotten.
Either way, I look forward to seeing how you'll do with Luca and Jacqli, especially if Jacqli is in a relationship with Croix. And how you'll integrate Aoto and the others will be interesting to see as well (Jacqli and Tyria especially, since people mistook Jacqli for Tyria in the past on Sol Ciel.).
I wish you luck. And don't let what other reviewers say to you get you down too much. I know where you're coming from, believe me, but you can gain knowledge from anywhere, even from those with 'inflated egos' LMAO XD. Later for now :).
| mega-dark 11/17/11 . chapter 1
As far as I can tell (haven't played Ar Tonelico 3 but I've spoiled myself, thank you Tvtropes), all the characters are in character, including character ticks like Saki refering to herself in third person. I think right now this is the only story that has Cocona returning to Metafalss with the characters from Ar Tonelico 3 tagging along.
This story has a lot of material if you want to continue this (please do). However, a review is not for WMGs so moving on.
As for grammer, there are a few miss takes that running the chapter through a spell check will fix, like "It was her fault for not warning to two but they could have ..." where you want to change the "to" to "the", but these are the only errors I could find.
Anyway, I hope you do continue this story. Good luck.