Well written.

You really leaving us in the lurch here please finish it!

I love this story. Mandy is pretty much an unknown and I like how you are fleshing her out. The chapters seem to go by quickly though. Must be the quality of the story.

Looking forward to the rewrite. I will start reading it at once:)

Perhaps happily (for everyone NOT me) I'm just about to wits end and need to quit reading. Maybe wait six months or a year, and try to finish later... after the re-write.

Just a few parting thoughts:

dais is the elevated platform... not dace (remember the 'veil' room in OotP)

bruschetta is crisp, diagonally sliced bread with different kinds of (usually italian type... olives, peppers, tomatoes, etc.) stuff on top... and is an appetizer, not an entree'

maybe consider if you don't know something, don't try to FAKE IT. Don't be afraid to stop writing long enough to look something up. I keep a dictionary, thesaurus, and encyclopedia sites in my favorites so I can pull them up quickly in another window, for if I come across something new.

The bio says your in your 11th year of school. You'll know sooooooo much more 'stuff' in a year, after graduating. You'll absorb what seems like double that amount, one year into college. After graduating college, you'll be embarrassed about what you DIDN'T know as a freshman. Comparatively, you won't know 'crap' until your married and have kids. Sometime around 40, you will PRAY to keep what you know now, and go back and do it all over, only RIGHT this time. NEVER stop learning, growing, or admitting your 'cup' is empty, and needs filling.

"Piss off Ron and go eat some or dares." Oh, honey (wincing )that one was bad!

Please try the "hors d'oeuvres"

(pronounced "or-durvz"... and only in joking can you call them 'horse doovers' )

Love your story. Please update soon:)

Probably not your favorite reviewer at this point, so I'll be gentle with this 'lesson', for lack of a better term.
Hagrid was expelled from school, wand snapped, aproximately fifty years ago. We know he was a third year and that Tom Riddle was Head Boy at that time (CS).
Tom Riddle was at least 17 if not 18 years old when he graduated. With a similar, muggle raised history to Harry, Tom had only seven years of 'experience' with the magical world, but fifty MORE years after that, up to the point we are at in the story. He's not fifty. He's either 67 or 68, with 57 or 58 years of 'magic'. (to Harry's five)

I know it sounds nitpicky, but it just SOUNDS completely ridiculous, thus making the fic less believable, if you don't get 'timeline' type 'facts' correct... that is, UNLESS you state your reasons for altering what is 'thought to be' TRUE. If you want to make it up that Tom is 21 years old, has blue hair and purple gasses and curses people with a pink umbrella, then say so, it's YOUR world.
But you gotta let us in on 'the rules'.

Not really understanding this bit:

"... when witches and wizards realised this, they began to practise religion as well, a religion that was similar to Christianity, yet not at the same time. Magical folk offered up sacrifices at Easter and Christmas time, magical sacrifices to God, Jesus and whomever else was felt to be deserving of a sacrifice. "

When you already said they were going to the 'catholic church' in Hogsmeade.

(oh, and it's 'puritan'... those were the same uptight bastards that came to found America, and WERE the witch burners... the descendants of whom are now the right wing conservatives, the tea party, the religous zealots ignoring science, the idiots that don't know world history, geography, or current events, and the fools who believe that the 'one percenters' give a crap about their outdated, tunnel-focused, blinders on, right-to-life, prayer in schools, ideals.
The worst part is... we got the brains, but they're the ones with all the guns!

Makes me wish I had been born to your fun, friendly, carefree ex-penal colony types. "Shrimp on the barby and Foster's for everyone!"

Trying to NOT be too nitpicky here, but I would bet (not TOO much) that a catholic priest would NOT marry two non catholics that came to them and asked.
My ex is/was catholic, and her priest wouldn't marry us. Now maybe it was because she was divorced from her previous, or maybe because I was raised methodist (which was probably equal to saying I was a witch/wizard (lol) ), or maybe he had a bit of 'the sight', and KNEW it wouldn't work (woulda' saved me 15 years), but he said no. We ended up going to a mutual friend who just happened to be a methodist minister who, unfortunately, married us (wish HE'd had the sight!).

As to vaults and coinage... I always thought a 'well kept' vault should never have more than 18 sickles or 28 knuts and the piles should be constantly updating (or at least daily). As to 'running out of gold'... couldn't happen. It comes FROM other people, other vaults, businesses, interest, profits, etc. Every galleon that comes in in 'was' someone elses. Every knut that leaves is 'spent' somewhere else.
As in physics, matter, and GOLD, are finite resources.

(also, why have millions of knuts lying around in hundreds of vaults when they are almost worthless... they should melt them down and make copper pipes and wire so 'proper' criminals can rip them out of houses and sell them for drugs!)

I do have to say, I like short chapters. Of course, it's only because there are nearly thirty chapters here available, and I'm not waiting a month for an update, only to be left un-satisfied by 'too little, too late'. Still, I like reading a little, quitting when I need to do something else, and coming back later without thinking I was missing too much. Kinda' cool.

Isn't Terry Boot (supposed to be) a tallish, skinny black kid, like Dean, the only other of their age?

Hadrian? Really? What the hell happened to 'Harold'... that can't be just a U.S. thing. I don't think 'Hadrian' (Emperor Hadrian (ruled 117–138 ce) (yes, I did look it up!) made it into any 'post-Magna Carta' English baby naming scrolls (1060 a.d., right?)

Ok, I lied about trying to accept non-canon details... Do you remember book 7 at all (I hated it, but still) Harry and Luna had to leave the RoR and go DOWN to the fourth floor to get over to the right tower for Ravenclaw, BUT they had to go UP to the seventh floor to the door and the bronze 'knocker' that asked the questions. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw are BOTH 7th floor accessed, but different towers, opposite sides of the 'castle', and NOT joined by what you would call 'the seventh floor'.

I don't know if you recognize 'The Harry Potter Lexicon' as having any authority whatsoever, but it has Mcgonnagal's office on the FIRST FLOOR, and sites the book and chapter for reasoning so.

( to ALL fic authors, not just this one)
Mostly, I guess, I just seek REASONS for not following what is accepted. If it's "I will make this shit up as I will it to be, because I can, and it's MY sandbox", then say that. But if it's " I don't give a f*ck, and I only ever watched the movies and didn't read any of the books, so I don't know any better", then TRY HARDER!

I know we're dealing with non-canon, made up things vs. historical precedent here, and that in 'fic world', what the author says- goes, period, so I will try to just accept what your making up here. It's just that it seems VERY contrived and too 'convenient' that only this age of 'kids' had to be tested... or, for that matter that a 'test' pops up out of nowhere. HISTORICALLY, we all know it would be Bill and not Ron, for their family... we don't know enough about all these other affected families, because they aren't described in canon (which isn't being used, anyway)

Don't get my intent wrong, a LOT of canon sucks, plain and simple, and I'll take good, well reasoned, thought out, and aptly described 'non-canon' every day ( I'm a HUGE HP/DG fan, and a rabid Molly/Ginny/Ron hater). I am not, in this case, stating this point out of malice for Ron, though I'm sure he will rise to the occasion later.

Don't forget 'baught' and appirating' when you re-write.

chapter two in and I like it, so far.

One chapter down... my only question so far is:

What could Ron possibly have to do with any of this 'inheritance' stuff? He's the sixth son of their family, probably relegated to working FOR one of the two oldest brothers, or maybe be the 'town drunk' and get his 'allowance' from one of them. Bill would be heir to Weasley (woo hoo! broke for generations) and Charlie would heir the Prewett line (which may actually be worth something... if Molly hasn't somehow STOLEN it)

Ron will 'get nothing and like it'!