not again says jasmine
"caught"says doom his face red as a rose
then they all get cauhgt by gaurds

I'm sure this is an amazing story, even though I haven't read it, but I do have some constructive critisizom [I can't spell that word, so I apologize]. In your summary, "jasmine" should have a capitolized J, like this: "Jasmine". Your "I" in "i'm" should also be capitolized, and watch out when you spell the word "first". You mispelled it twice in your summary ;)

I'd also recommend getting a beta, but that's your decision. But editing makes a big difference.

Summaries reflect on the story. If you have a lot of typos in the summory, then some people may just skip over the story because they believe the story will have a lot of typos as well. While if a summary has no typos, people are more likely to take a peek.

I wish you luck - After all, we writers have to stick together, right?

Awesome chapter!

I want more story!

very good job:)
I hope u continue;)

Love ya;)

(Review for whole story.) I love this story!

It's a good story, and can you please make the next chapter longer:)

It was a bit funny what barda said "you were screaming her name"

They raped their arms around each other? Haha I'm sorryI've seen rap confused with rape but not wrap. I'm not flamin' you or anything, it's a cute story. But if you watch jacksfilms YGS you would know how much people misssssspell things to become rape and it's irking. Sorry if i sound obnoxious I really think you should keep going, just edit.

Congratulations on your first fanfic. I like the story but you might have mispelled some words and revealing JL to early.

But I'm still waiting for chapter 4 :)

wow.

.such. -hanger.

AWESOME

finish it soon!

It's so cute

3

Please continue!

It's so cute! :D