Great story, Gypsy. Probably your best. Keep writing more!

This story was good, I always like stories about Snape's point of view because I find him so interesting! But what confused me was the fact that Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were there already, and Hagrid was already the gamekeeper. Anyway, it was a nice story about Snape. :)

Ms. Gypsy: While your format and prose are well done, and your spelling very good indeed, I cannot, in good conscience, call this work "good." There are two reasons.

One - your plot staggers like an epileptic rabbit, twitching here and leaping there into actions which have no previous groundwork in the fiction. Also, you use quite a few cliches. The difference between a cliche and an archetype is presentation, which you lack. If you plan to revise the fic, make it longer and explain some of the leaps in character, such as Severus suddenly opening up to Hagrid when he's seemed so reserved until know. The hurt/comfort scene when Samantha's parents die could use quite a bit of patching up - allowing us to hear the thoughts behind both characters actions, and McGonagall's would help greatly to ease the strain of overuse.

The second reason is your characterization - Samantha seems a flat and static character. I can't even think of a reason not to chew my arm off to get away from her, much less comprehend how Snape could actually develop an affection for her. Once again, a little more background, thoughts, and expliantion is required. Snape's closedmouthed/confessing flip-flops leave you reader rather dizzy - a reason why Snape is opening up and talking about his feelings is a good start.

The premise of the fic is very understandable, and the basic plot fits with what we know of the human mind. With some revision it will be a truly good tale.

Hope this helps,

DragonLady

luv it

I read this a long time ago and loved it, and I loved it again today

*gasps* That was the most amazing piece of writing I have ever read!

Very good! So this is the first Snape fic... never thought It would be this good...

*wails* That's so sad!

not bad . . .

A very good, very desciptive, and very emotional story. It's one of the best written fan fics I've seen. Just wondering, why did Snape join Voldemort if Voldemort was the cause of the deaths of those he loved.

I had actually tears in my eyes as she died. I really felt sympathy for Snape! I still can't hold back my tears. They just keep running down my cheeks. I know, I shouldn't feel compassion for Snape for what he does to Harry later in his life but I can't stop it. Why?

that wuz a well writton story but now im waayyyyyy deprest it is a foo reason as to why snape is so bitter tho

That was a really sad story :(. But it really didn't make sense because Snape worked for Voldemort and I don't think anyone would ever work for the person that killed their mother.

WOW! that made me cry. you can write really passionate stories, and very tearful for that matter. keep writing and i'll keep reading, your a great author:)gwen

wow. that is so sad...i have tears in my eyes. i just have one question, though, what made Severus become a Death Eater, if all he loved was murdered by Voldemort? oh well, doesn't really matter, this is such a good story. keep writing!