It'd be funny if they visited Empryean since it's a land of technology rather than magic...

Did you change Lim Lim to an Elementalist to fit the story? Lim Lim is a battle mage in the game that knows Fire Pillar. I'm sure you know this already though. Nice story though

Cute and adorable, wished it was longer. -Sad Face-lo

The huge paragraphs did seem frightening at first.

But I enjoy your story so far.

You have a great start so far. The only thing that I can recommend doing is perhaps start a new paragraph every time someone different starts to talk. It may just be a personal preference but I think it makes things easier to read and prevents paragraphs from becoming too long.

I must admit I know little to no information about your fandom, sorry. But, I think this story flows very smoothly. Good job.

Although I have little knowledge of this fandom, The story is well written and it flowed smoothly. In other words, I liked this story and they ending was cute

[CSR]

Hey there David! I'm here with the promised review from our little group! :D

I did enjoy this piece. I am not familiar with this fandom at all but it was a good read. I love a good fight scene and yours here wasn't bad at all!

I hope you continue for the sake of the readers in this fandom!

I think giving Lim Lim a sis is really cute(maybe now the next time I go there she won't blast my character into oblivion! :D) Anywho, this was well written, good job. :3