|Reviews for Saving Sara|
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 9
Oh, sad that there isn't another chapter yet. But this one was quite nice. I'm looking forward to the next entry. You've been keeping a very nice pace with the story as well.
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 6
I'm sure my confusion is merely related to my lack of background with the characters; I'm just unclear on who Victor is and what he's doing. But I certainly don't disapprove of the technique you used in writing that in. Nice work.
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 5
:0 A delightful read!
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 4
Only one typo. "Mercy reached out 'at' hand" near the beginning. But it was good. I'm looking forward to the next one.
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 3
Once more, lovely tale so far. Only critique is of the sentence, "The memory stabbed at her heart, making her keenly aware that Donny had left her because it'd gotten too hard." The last bit just sounds a bit awkward. (it'd gotten too hard). But otherwise, I'm thoroughly enjoying the read.
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 2
Just a couple typos really. In the first sentence you might mean "To say that this was (one of)Mercy's less brilliant or thought-out plans" in order to make it complete. And the second sentence is a little confusing. I thought that Winds of Change was the name of the staff for a bit. And that's it. Excellently written and still interesting.
| MelvinTheGreat 3/4/12 . chapter 1
Short, but has a nice hook. I'm going to continue reading to see what I really think, but I am enjoying your style so far. Syntax is great, keep up the good work.
| Fost 1/8/12 . chapter 8
Overall - there are a number of places where the dialogue doesn't quite read properly out loud - I always find that helps. It might also need someone to go over it to hilight awkward wording choices or sentence structurs.
But for someone who knows absolutely nothing about who the characters are, or even the way the world works - it is surprisingly followable.