Good reading so far, based on Mechwarrior III, but do you have anymore coming soon? I am still waiting!

Backkick

Cool fic. I have the game and the story kinda goes along exactly like it. Anyways, I like the way you put some conversation going on between the Mechwarriors and the well described battle action. Also, Strikepenguin5, it is the torso that gets blown off to make your sensors go dead, not the arm.

I don't even know all that much about Battletech, and this was still a good read. The pace goes well, andcx the characters are somewhat interesting, although maybe still a little bit stripped down. Still, with the clean writing and good pace, the story works pretty well.

I thought maybe there could be a little more description, since I'm not all that familiar with the mech types or the clans, but that is a source of much debate; how much description of canon facts should be used in a fanfiction story? I also thought that maybe the characters could be just a little more fleshed out, but this is more a story of the conquest than the people involved. So good work, so far.

hmM, a mechwarrior 3 fic... long time no see...

still it keeps up with the storyline, and you're givin' background to Sinclair! Cool!

keep postin'em...

Nice. I haven't seen a lot of MW3 fics around, but some of this is funny, how some of the briefings are practically verbatim from the game.

Personally I've never considered Dominic Payne a good warrior, he's walked into one too many structures and blown off his own head for my taste. And I don't care HOW much cluster ammo you've got in an LB-10X, after a couple of hits, your 'mech is on the ground no matter WHAT! That gets me sooo mad...

Anyway, watch your verb tenses, you switch occasionally, and that's a bad habit. It's actually a fairly common one, but it's still bad.

Strip the autocannon out of the bushwhacker, strap on some medium lasers and some clan double heat sinks, and get rid of the LRMs and the ammo. You'll be able to fire forever and you'll rarely heat up enough to explode.

One thing that has always bugged me about that game: how is it that your SENSORS go dead when your ARM gets blown off?

Good story, goes along with MW3 without going into too much detail. Interesting to get the viewpoints of Paine and Andrew also. Carry on writing.

very good story so far. It sticks to the storyline of MW3 nicely. Good descriptions on some of the characters. Keep up the good writing!

Nice. Sticks to the storyline, and good description of combat.

For those of you interested, Loren Coleman(yes, the BT line writer, and the story plotter for MW3) actually had a novella on the net for the story of Conner Sinclair and the Damocles Commando.

Here's the link.

.com/battletech/fiction/trial_under_

Very good stuff. Just thought I'll share it with you guys.;)

A Mechwarrior 3 fic? Don't see them very often. I really like this, keep up the good work.