Love your story! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please write more! I want to know what happens next. I think it is cool, great, and i can't wait to find out what happens next.

That was pretty good. Ummm...it is choppy in some parts, but I'm going onto the next chapter.

wow, it's awesome! I can't wait to read this rest of it! you did a really good job :D

wow, it's really well done! good use of dialogue and good plot :) I look forward to reading the rest of it!

yes, of course theres more! im working on it now. and, ya, i know its short and choppy. the middle is better, but this is like a prolouge and i wanted it quick so im not too worried.

This was pretty good. Descriptions and dialogue were a little quick, but otherwise well done.

*Pouts* She left? Even though Van asked her to stay? *Pouts some more* *Sighs* Okay, okay; it's only logical, since she has a life and all, but still... Oh, well... Nothing's ever perfect. Your story's quite good and I hope you'll write more to this, where the only leaving she'll be doing is that from Earth...:)