|Reviews for Darkness within me|
| Angel Girl Phantom 12/28/11 . chapter 3
lol update soon. D
| eyelovefantasy 12/28/11 . chapter 3
You're doing well. I'm a little confused though, how is it Athena already has a dragon?
| Ashes From Ashes 12/24/11 . chapter 2
Interesting. A few mistakes- like "The last fragment of it's being blew away on the wind" should have been "The last fragment of ITS being blew away on the wind." When you're talking about an it like it has something, there's no apostrophe, but when you're talking about and it doing something like or being something or having done something "it is" or "it has" there is an apostrophe because it's a contraction. I think you need to build a little on the story, too. Maybe a little more description of the surroundings (the setting)and a bit more description of the people, too. It's easy to forget what someone looks like if you only describe them once and that isn't even in the story. Also, I think the dialogue could use a bit of tuning up. It's a little robotic, if you get what I mean. I'd be more than happy to beta the story for you!
Your story has a lot of potential. Interesting how your character has her dragon from the very beginning. I wonder how it'll affect the story. I think I'll keep an eye one this.
| Angel Girl Phantom 12/23/11 . chapter 1
Nice please update soon. D
| eyelovefantasy 12/22/11 . chapter 1
I will definitely be keeping an eye on this story.