The idea behind this conversation was lovely. It's just so sweet and sad and awkward for both parties, but I found that the vehicle your message traveled in wasn't at its best. There were sentences when I wasn't sure who was who, and not in a good way, it wasn't a very smooth transition between who was what and who went where. There were a lot of cliches that you tried to twist and turn to your own purposes to reflect the relationship between Charles and Erik there were very fitting, but I got the feeling like some were just out of place or others weren't changed well enough. :) Cool idea though, and that last line is killer.